Man About Town
by Mister Unsmiley
Summary: Human Being attractive isn't easy. During his stay in Canterlot for boarding school, Spike's appearance changes drastically, making him an unwilling target in a predominantly female country. Luckily for him, Fancy Pants is around to teach him how to refine himself so that he may fend off the common skank and save his virtue for those more deserving. Third in a series.
1. The Ones Who Have Opened Your Eyes

Spike sighed as another frustrated young woman huffed and puffed her way away from him.

_For Celestia's sake, tell them a dress looks good on them and they think they're already in your pants._ He growled to himself as he spotted the same powder blue-haired vixen from earlier eying him over her Manhattan.

He slid out of his stool at the bar and made his way to a secluded corner of the restaurant, shooting a mild glare at anyone who tried to follow.

He considered his appearance.

_Tan skin, green hair, and well in shape. _A snort. _Not exactly unappealing, but I _have _been getting more looks than on a usual Friday night._

Just as he sat down in his selected booth—_thump_—he felt the impact of another body drop onto the worn leather. He rolled his eyes as he turned to the newcomer.

A curious leg rubbed his underneath the table as a lovely face with pale green hair greeted him above.

"Hey there, cutie!" _Ugh, her voice is like caramelized glass._ "I saw you sitting over here all by your lonesome, and figured you could use some company!"

Spike's eyes widened as her foot, very much unwelcome, made its way up to his thigh before he grasped it firmly in one hand. She giggled innocently as she tried to fix him with a sultry gaze.

He lowered his voice to an angry mutter, so that only she could hear his next words.

"Listen here, because I'm not going to repeat myself."

She froze at his tone.

"I do not want sex. I do not want you. I sure as _hell_ don't want sex with _you_. So why don't you stand up, take off your tacky little high heels, and strut out of here before I say something I _really _regret?"

She gasped, tears beginning to leak from her eyes as she stood up from the booth, tore off her shoes and ran out the door sobbing pathetically.

Spike shrugged as he lifted his Appletini to his lips, his eyes following the fleeing girl apathetically.

"I say, that couldn't have been very gentlemanly of you." Spike looked up to see an older man peering down at him, his gaze searching as if to determine the young teenager's character. The familiar face struck his memory like a chord as he tried to recall the bespectacled gentleman with the thin blue mustache.

"She's the fourth person to try and feel me up in the last hour. Trust me, she had it coming." He likewise studied the other man as he took another sip of his drink.

The handsome stranger smiled wryly as a small grin spread across his face. "There is some merit to what you say, Spike, but a _gentleman _always holds himself to a higher standard."

Spike raised an eyebrow, slightly put off that the apparent stranger knew his name, but he didn't know his.

_Unless…_

"You were at the royal wedding, weren't you?" A nod. "Fancy Pants, is it?"

A smile broke across his face as he sat down in the booth. "Bravo, young man! I knew you would get it eventually."

Spike smiled wanly as he turned fully to face Fancy Pants. "That was at least seven years ago. How could you remember a kid like me from back then?"

A shit-eating grin. "Bachelor party."

Spike's mood instantly soured as he tried to keep an embarrassed blush off of his face. "Can I help you?"

The grin returned to a kindly smile as the more mature man settled back in his seat. "No, but I believe that I can help you."

Spike leaned back suddenly. "No way—"

A wave of his hand. "No homosexuality."

Spike let go of the breath he was holding. "Oh good, I was afraid this night was going to get even weirder."

Fancy Pants gestured to the small pockets of people throughout the classy diner, of which there were a fair few glancing their way rather obviously. Spike cringed inwardly at the lecherous glares he received. "I intend to help you with your women problem."

Spike shivered at their gazes. "What's up with them? I'm only seventeen, so why won't they just leave me alone?"

"_N__eque femina amissa pudicitia alia abnuerit._" Fancy Pants muttered as he beheld the young man in front of him, choosing to explain himself as he saw his confused face. "It means that 'a woman, having lost her virtue, will stop at nothing.' If anything is true about Canterlot, it is that little virtue is in it."

He shifted in his seat. "Let me tell you, Spike. No matter where you go in this world, no matter what countries, races, or peoples you behold, always know this: people are the same."

Spike cocked his head, interested in what the other man had to say. "That seems a bit unfair. How do you figure?"

Fancy Pants's voice lowered, prompting the younger man to lean in closer. "Heed my words, young sir, and heed them well. Greed and desire are two faces of the same coin, and as such, it can be hard for some to tell one from the other. Having said that, believe me when I say that you are a very attractive young man, especially since you share your blood with a race as powerful as the dragons . I mean that with the upmost respect."

Spike blushed. "Uh, thank you? You're…handsome too."

The blue-haired man snorted lightly. "Trust me, I know. Everybody wants Fancy Pants."

Spike resisted the urge to facepalm.

"That is not a statement of narcissism, my young friend. You see, I was in the same position as you are now. I still am, as a matter of fact."

Spike's confusion only escalated. "I don't get it. If you still have the same problems as me, how can you help me? What makes us any different?"

Fancy Pants grinned again. "Finally, my boy, you're asking the right questions. The answer, is _finesse_."

"Fi-what now?"

The gentleman cleared his throat. "Finesse, young man. Any handsome young looker can attract a number of girls, but only a gentleman can refine his _se pavener._ In his presence, greed has no place. In his presence, a lady becomes the one asking for _his_ company."

Spike snorted. "No trouble there, trust me."

Fancy Pants laughed lightly. "I believe I said ladies, Spike, not skanks."

The two men chuckled at his remark, whatever tension that was left dissipating.

The mustachioed gentleman rapped his fingers on the table lightly, the rings on his finger much more humble in appearance than the other classy inhabitants of Canterlot.

Spike wondered why he looked classier.

"Now, I agree that you certainly do not want for attention, but the key to getting what you want lies in the aura you produce around yourself. You must appear cool and desirable, yet respectful and unattainable. Do this, and the true queens will be sifted from the common peasants."

Spike frowned. "That sounds easy enough, but how would I actually go about doing that?"

An eyebrow raised. "You spent the majority of your life around the Princess, did you not? It should be simple enough to channel her for your purposes."

Spike nodded. Then frowned. "Wait, what are my purposes?"

Fancy Pants shrugged. "Whatever you wish. Relationships, intercourse…" He coughed slightly at this point. "Hmmmsubtlemanipulation."

"What was that last one?"

Fancy Pants waved his concerns away. "It is irrelevant. By all means, you should try and see where my advice gets you. You never know, after all!" He winked good-naturedly.

Spike frowned. "But how?"

"Simple, my good sport! You're nearly out of Appletini, merely go up for another and show that lovely young teal-haired lady over there a bit of your charm."

"I'm not thirsty." He said flatly.

"What is it that you young people say today?" Fancy Pants flicked his wrist, a spark of magic cloaking his hand as Spike's legs stood up of their own volition, slowly moving him over to the counter. "Ah yes, Y.O.L.O.!"

Cursing Fancy Pants inwardly, Spike reminded himself to channel Princess Celestia's demeanor as he approached the bar's counter. His eyes flicked over to the familiar woman from before, still sipping on her Manhattan. He noticed her unusual harp-like earrings and how she sat with both of her legs folded.

_Well, at least she's cute._

"Another Appletini, please." He said to the bartender.

A moment later, he felt her gaze upon him.

His drink slid over to him as his eyes darted briefly to meet hers. He could tell by the look on her face that she had just found a reason to strike up a conversation.

"Aren't you a little young to be drinking?"

_Okay, not what I had in mind. _He turned to face her as he sipped on his drink. "Aren't you too pretty to be drinking by yourself this late?"

Her eyes lidded as a small smirk crossed her face. "Thanks, but I'm no lightweight. Besides, I'm here with my girlfriend."

_Channel the Princess._ Despite the embarrassment he felt inside, Spike managed to nod coolly. "So you're interested in both, then?"

She nodded humorously. "How'd you know?"

He returned her smirk. "I know."

_Well, she's still talking to me, so I must be doing something right so far._ He pointed at her earrings as he leaned against the counter. "You play?"

She reached up as she grasped one in her hand. "Yeah, ever since I was little."

"You like it that much, huh?"

She grinned. "Well, it _is_ my namesake, after all. And it pays the bills, so yeah, it's pretty boss." She looked him up and down with a patronizing glance. "Are you usually this good at picking up older women with girlfriends, or are you just out of practice?"

_Buuuuuuuurn. Return fire, and try to regain some dignity while you're at it!_ "It's usually the other way around, actually. My guardians don't really let me out that often."

The teal-haired beauty raised an eyebrow. "Your guardian? Am I about to get arrested for pedophilia or something?"

Spike laughed as he swirled his drinking playfully. "I don't know, what were you about to do that would get you arrested?"

She floundered as she searched for a comeback to his verbal jab. _Finesse, Spike. Not too shabby._ He noticed Fancy Pants grinning out of the corner of his eye.

She decided to settle with a hint of seduction instead. "I don't know, actually. Maybe you should give me some ideas?" She purred.

"Maybe you shouldn't." A frustrated voice called from behind Spike.

The teal-haired beauty peered around him, cringing in shame at being caught. "Oh, h-hey Bonbon!"

Spike turned, remembering to keep calm in spite of the hell he was undoubtedly about to catch, and found himself looking down at a shorter yet curvier woman with a beautiful hydrangea flower tucked into her blue and pink hair..

"Who's your friend, Lyra?" The shorter woman leaned back and beheld Spike with a jealous gaze. There was, he found, no small amount of attraction either, as he could see her eyes struggling to stay above his neck.

He stretched out his hand to greet her. "I'm Spike, it's a pleasure to meet you. Lyra and I were just talking a bit before she started trying to seduce me."

He laughed inwardly as he saw Lyra sputter as he threw her under the bus. _Traitor! _He could practically hear her scream.

Bonbon rolled her eyes as she glared at her girlfriend, crossing her legs as she sat on a barstool. "Yes, she tends to do that from time to time. I'm sorry if she made you feel uncomfortable, I really am."

Spike smiled attractively as he formulated a reply. _Well, they're both attractive enough. Messing with them a bit could be fun._ "Well, I'm not. If anything, this…'conversation' managed to brighten up a rather dull night." He kept his eyes lidded as he quite obviously let his eyes roam over Bonbon's frame. _That feels right, make her feel like her clothes aren't even there._ He grinned to himself when he saw her shift awkwardly in her seat, unconsciously uncrossing her legs.

"Anyway, I'd better let you two lovely ladies get back to your night. It was a pleasure meeting you." He decided to take a risk and took Bonbon's hand and kissed it, making her blush distractedly as he purposefully brushed the back of his hand against Lyra's leg before stepping backward.

"I-I mean, you don't have to go, if you don't want to…" Bonbon trailed off as she brushed her hand through her hair, pink dusting her cheeks.

Spike smiled gently on the outside, even though he was grinning on the inside.

"I don't know, Bonbon." Lyra purred as she wrapped an arm around Spike good-naturedly and pulled him down closer to her height. "It _is _getting pretty late for our friend here." Bonbon's eyes fluttered wide open as she realized what her girlfriend was implying, though the slight imprint of hope in them betrayed her emotions.

_Is she suggesting…?_ He decided to push his luck a little further, to see where it took him. "You're probably right, it wouldn't be the gentlemanly thing to do to keep you two up all night." He tried to make his voice sound huskier, like he heard other men do in similar situations. To his surprise, it didn't come out as bad as he thought it would.

Bonbon swallowed her shyness, remembering that in front of her was a young and _very _attractive tan man who looked like he knew a thing or two about endurance. She mustered up her nerve and replied simply, "Then don't be a gentleman." Her eyes lidded as she curled her leg around his invitingly. Lyra grinned eagerly as she got up from her stool and put her heels back on.

_Eh, why the hell not._ Spike nodded as the two lovely ladies led him out of the diner, shooting a look to Fancy Pants as he went. The older man nodded approvingly, clapping his hands slowly. "Congratulations, young man. You're learning quickly." He murmured as his pink-haired companion strutted over to sit next to him.

"You certainly made a few young ladies jealous with your assistance, Fancy. Many of the girls here tried their luck with that young man and got snubbed in seconds." She crossed her long legs and flipped her hair graciously. "I wouldn't have minded a night with him myself, actually."

Fancy Pants narrowed his eyes. "I was merely helping a young man who is in a similar situation as I once was, Fleur. Celestia knows it's hard for handsome men like us when the male to female ratio is 3:7."

Fleur de Lis rolled her eyes good naturedly. "I'm sure it is, Fancy. Wherever would our population be if it weren't for kindly men like you to guide us?"

Fancy Pants sipped his drink, swirling it around in one hand. "Sometimes, my dear, I wonder the same thing. Honestly, you must be among the luckiest creatures in the world."

She cocked her eyebrows. "Why? Because I get to fight over what few _gallant _men there are?"

He laughed jovially. "No," he said, "because _you _get to have your way with the best one."

A pause. "Right now."

She clasped her hands together in excitement. "I'll bring the car around!"

Spike knew that the two women, especially Lyra, were attracted to him, but it was only after Bonbon had to stop her girlfriend from making out with his chest the very moment they stepped out of the restaurant that he understood the extent of it. As he buttoned up his shirt, staring at a window and studying his reflection, he mentally shrugged. _Can I really blame them? I mean, I probably shouldn't let this go to my head, but man, _I'd _fuck me!_

He muttered to himself as he stared back into the handsome young man's eyes. "Looking good_, _Spike. Looking _real _good."

Bonbon rolled her eyes as she latched onto Spike's arm and steered them towards their apartment. He chuckled when he felt Lyra's hand sneak into his back pocket. "Geez, I know I'm cute and all, but at this pace we won't even make it back to your place."

He caught a contemplating look on Lyra's face. "You're right; we should just find an alley and double team you there."

_Can't say I'm surprised by that suggestion._

"Lyra!" Bonbon smacked her on the hand at the lewd idea.

"What?" Lyra frowned as she pouted at her lover.

Bonbon tsked as she kissed Spike gingerly on his cheek. "Young Spike here is a guest after all." She winked at Lyra. "We can ravish him in the streets _next _time, okay?"

_Next time…?_ Spike felt lightheaded as Lyra readily agreed. _Alright, remember to play it cool. Channel the Princess._ He chuckled as he brushed his lips against Bonbon's exposed neck. "Show me that you know what you're doing first, then we'll talk about a next time, okay?" She shuddered as she leaned into him. He could imagine Fancy Pants's input at his actions. _Good, place her in charge. Make her feel as if she is the one who needs to impress you._

"Control your lust, people." Lyra rolled her eyes as she dug into her purse. "We're here." She pulled out her keys and unlocked the front door. No sooner had she done so than had Bonbon pushed Spike onto the couch, pouncing onto his lap and ripping his dress shirt off. He could see the lust glazing her eyes over as her hands roamed his taut muscles, before moving her mouth to his neck.

Lyra gasped at her lover's assertiveness before she remembered to be offended. "Hey, I saw him first!"

Spike moaned at Bonbon's ministrations, motioning for Lyra to walk over. "Then _do_ something about it." Bonbon giggled into his neck as she continued.

Spike tried not to let his inexperience, or indeed, his overexcitement, show while his pink and blue haired partner ground slowly into his lap. His rather sizable length grew inside his pants, revealing his excitement to his surprisingly enthusiastic friend. Again, Fancy Pants's voice spoke to him in his mind. _Good work on having two ladies for your first time, my boy, but you mustn't dawdle! Your arousal is too obvious, you must make her work harder for your passion!_

Spike grunted as he gripped Bonbon's hips, trailing a finger down her spine, causing a shiver to escape her. _She hasn't even taken her shoes off yet. Stay down for now, boner._

_**Kay.**_

Lyra made to move over to join in, but she stepped back in surprise when Spike stood up abruptly, whisking Bonbon's dress off briskly, leaving her clad in only her cream laced bra and panties, her heels already discarded and off to the side. Spike sat them both down again, this time grabbing hold of Bonbon's face as he passionately made out with her on the couch. He laid on his back while she stood on her hands and knees, her cute, full butt pointing outwards. Bonbon's eyes were closed, lost in the passion of the kiss; Spike's, however, were wide open, winking at Lyra and subtly motioning to Bonbon's rear. Lyra took the hint and positioned herself behind her girlfriend, unceremoniously yanking off her panties and diving face first into—

"EEP!" Bonbon broke the kiss in surprise as Lyra's mouth assaulted her womanhood from behind. "_Lyra_, you scared m-mmpfh!" Spike reclaimed her mouth selfishly as the curvier woman moaned desperately into his mouth, her hands wrapping around his shoulders as she pressed against him. Lyra planted her hands against her curvy ass, gripping her savagely and plunging deeper with her tongue. Spike broke the kiss, opting instead to massage her abundant breasts with his tanned hands, kissing her on the neck just as firmly. Their continued ministrations were too much for Bonbon, as she scratched her fingernails against Spike's back and curled her toes as they brought her to a screaming orgasm. Lyra pulled back from her partner's behind and glanced at a digital clock visible from the kitchen. "Two minutes and seven seconds. I think that's a new record, BB."

Bonbon groaned into Spike's slightly sweaty chest. "I _hate it_ when you call me that."

Lyra giggled as she pulled Bonbon off of Spike, grasping at her chest. "Deal with it, babe. Besides, it's my turn." She dumped Bonbon on the floor, to the other's surprise and Spike's laughter. She climbed onto his tanned chest, grinning madly with arousal. "Oh _wow_, I've been waiting all night for something like this."

"Oh have you now?" Bonbon looked slightly put off about being dumped on the ground, and had a _You're in for it now_ look on her face.

The lust in Lyra's eyes was overpowering. "Oh _hell _yes." She growled, her voice almost feral. Bonbon _meeped_ as she flinched at the pure sexual energy her girlfriend was exerting. The _you're next_ look on her face made the smaller woman clench with arousal. "Fine, but I want another turn soon."

Spike snorted. "I'm right here, you guys." Lyra grabbed his head in her hands as she pressed her face to his.

"Hush."

She kissed him passionately, battling his tongue and dominating it within seconds. Spike had to take a breath from the strenuous activity. "Wow, you taste like…alcohol and candy."

Lyra chuckled, her voice still lowered from her arousal. "Yeah, Bonbon has that quirk about her. She actually tastes like bonbons."

Spike's eyes widened. "Really now?" He grabbed Bonbon by the hips and plunged his tongue into her, her legs flailing wildly in the air.

"GAH, _FUCK!_ W-warn me before you do that!" She was panting heavily, still recovering from their last bout.

Spike set her down gently. "Well I'll be damned! If I didn't know better, I'd think she bathed with chocolate!"

Lyra grinned lecherously. "Brings a whole new meaning to 'candy vag', don't it?"

Spike licked his lips thoughtfully as he considered her words. "I guess so, yeah." He looked back down at Bonbon, her beautiful womanhood puffed up from its attention and glistening with sweat and saliva. "Hey Bonbon, heads up." He wrapped his hands around her hips again and dove back between her legs, savoring her taste all too eagerly.

"Ah, I need more warning than that!" She moaned as she gripped the carpet between her fingers.

Spike smiled into her pussy, causing her to moan even louder. "Oh hush, you know you _love_ being used like this."

Bonbon considered that for a moment while Spike went back to licking her shamelessly. "That's not the point…"

Lyra growled again at being ignored. "Hey, you keep paying a bunch of attention to her! It's _my _turn to be fucking you senseless!" She grasped angrily at Spike's arms.

He turned his head to her as Bonbon sighed in relief. "Then stop being a pussy and fuck me senseless."

Lyra's eyes widened at the challenge as Bonbon _ooooh, he told you_'d from her place on the floor. She growled as she looked down at the smirking young man on her couch. _He think he can mock _me_, in _my _home? _ She grabbed Spike by the leg, and with amazing strength, lifted him over her shoulder.

"H-hey, what are you doing?" He asked, his voice panicked as Bonbon watched with mild amusement before following them quietly.

She carried him into the bedroom, flinging him on her queen-sized mattress and scattering their pretty little pillows across the room. She flung her top to the floor, clad now only in her black bra with white lace, black dress pants, and high heels. He wondered why that only made her more attractive than before.

Lyra panted as she beheld the tanned boy who looked like a young god before her. His near-bronze skin accented his muscles well; his unruly, stiff green hair made her want to run her fingers through it and see what he smelled like. She mentally noted to savor him after she taught him a lesson. Or eight.

"You wanna play hardball, motherfucker? Let's play." She pushed him back down on the bed, her heel digging into his chest as she yanked off his pants, revealing his form-fitting boxer briefs. She straddled him, grinding once before he rose to full mast. "Good boy," she purred. She pinned his arms to the bed, licking his neck and grinding against him with agonizing slowness.

Spike groaned at the torture. "Lyyyyyyyyra…" He tried to buck his hips upward, but she would have none of it.

She licked his lips as she gripped his ass firmly, playfully nipping at him. "That's right, little boy, _say my name_."

He had to admire her assertiveness and well-built stomach, as he tried to wrench his hands from her surprisingly strong grip. To his shock, they didn't budge.

Bonbon called out from the hallway as she slinked in. "Don't bother trying to break her grip, hun. When Lyra's like this, it's like Celestia's gifted her with the strength of ten whores."

Lyra decided to ignore the comment as she continued to dominate the younger man. "You want to feel me, Spike?"

He struggled against her grip, to no avail. "Yes..."

She rubbed her lips against the line of his jaw, whispering into his ear, "You want to know how _firm_ I am? You want to show me what you're all about?"

He groaned and tried to push her off with his legs, but she pinned those with her legs as well. "Yes!" She ground against his erection slowly, turning him on with alarming efficiency. He absently wondered how he could feel so aroused with this woman who was still for the most part clothed, much more so than when he was with Bonbon, who was nearly naked at the time.

She moved one hand down to stroke his cock, the distraction serving to make him forget about his efforts to escape her grasp. She marveled at his length, as she supposed his girth to be much larger than most of the admittedly few men she'd had before. _Must be in the blood_, she guessed, as she regarded his abnormally long canines.

Lyra moaned torturously as she slowly worked the length of his manhood, her delicate fingers wrapping around it and pumping slowly, but not nearly enough to soothe the ever-increasing pressure in Spike's chest. "Do you want to feel every _inch _of me, feel the curve of my ass in your hands and my _breasts_," he shuddered violently at this as she dragged them against his chest, "on your own? Do you want _me_?"

Spike groaned pitifully as she blew her cool breath on his still sensitive neck, her hands cupping his testicles. "Celestia, please, _yes!_"

Bonbon muttered under her breath, "It's amazing how poetic she can be when she's about to ravage someone."

Lyra smirked sexily as she traced the outline of his abs. "Then beg for it."

Spike shivered underneath her. "Please, just let—"

She shushed him with her finger, pushing it into his mouth and moaning as he reluctantly sucked on it. "Since it's your first time of many with me—" she glanced over to Bonbon, shooting the quivering girl a look of pure sex, "—or should I say, _us_, I'll say this so you don't forget." She pushed her still-clothed breasts into Spike's face, further torturing him with her tantalizing body. "You're not fucking me, I'm fucking _you_. When I say thrust, you thrust. When I tell you to lick, you fucking lick. If and when the situation ever arises when I decided to stop being on top and I tell you to fuck me like I owe you money, you better pray to Celestia that you're man enough to satisfy me. Understood?"

Spike nodded.

"I didn't _hear _you."

He gulped. "Yes, Lyra."

She nodded slowly in approval. "Good. Here's how we're going to do this. I'm going to fuck you, then you take a turn with Bonbon. If you're as good as you look," she winked, "I'll give you the go ahead to show me what you're worth. Understood?"

Another nod. "Yes, Lyra."

She reached behind her back and unclasped her bra, throwing it to Bonbon's face before lowering her chest onto Spike's, moving it slowly up to his face. "Lick." She commanded.

Spike took her breast into his mouth and massaged it with his tongue for all he was worth, taking the initiative to rub the other one with his free hand. He longed to caress the rest of her body, but decided not to, at the risk of upsetting the dominant woman.

She purred as she held his head in her hand. "Good boy, but don't be afraid to be rougher with me." He nodded as he took more of her into his mouth, circling his tongue around her nipple while occasionally stopping to pull her breast out and bite at certain parts to stimulate her arousal further. She moaned her appraisal at his natural intuition, rewarding him with quicker strokes to his cock. Bonbon watched in amazement as her girlfriend completely dominated the young bronze god who once seemed so cool and calm.

"Good, good," Lyra praised as she got off of Spike, her pants being the only clothing left on her body. Spike swallowed his disappointment at her absence, but patiently awaited her next orders. She unzipped her pants and removed her belt, but did nothing else. Instead, she lifted her left leg over his face, her foot lightly ghosting over his glistening skin.

"Undress me." He eagerly removed the pants from her legs, his eyes amazed to see the teal-haired beauty in her natural appearance. He moved to embrace her, but she stopped him with a glare. "Now, what did I say?"

Spike moaned painfully as she clucked at his lapse in obedience. Lyra spread her legs as she displayed to him her womanhood, absent of any hair and undeniably tight. She leaned forward, blocking it slightly from view as she cupped Spike's face with one hand. "Beg for it."

Spike swallowed as he composed his words. "Lyra, p-please fuck me. I've been waiting for so long, and I want you to be on top of me. Please, _please _have your way with me."

She smirked as she pushed him onto his back. "Now was that so hard?" A flick of her wrist and his boxers were gone, now laying on Bonbon's lap next to her bra. She frowned as she realized that she still wasn't wet enough for penetration. "Bonbon, get over here and suck his dick." Immediately, the smaller woman was on the side of the bed, Spike's impressive length already inside of her mouth. Lyra ensnared him in another kiss as he moaned gratefully into her mouth, Bonbon's head bobbing up and down happily the entire time. Lyra broke the kiss to whisper into his ear, "Come for me, Spike."

He exploded inside Bonbon's mouth.

Bonbon's eyes widened in surprise as she tried to contain his seed, only for Lyra to look over to her and command, "Swallow." She stalled for a moment, before tilting her head back and doing as she was told. She retreated to her chair as Lyra put Spike's legs over her shoulders, carefully adjusting his tip to her entrance, before she bore down on him.

"AAH!" Spike grunted out as she took his virginity, Lyra pumping him for all he was worth, not leaving a moment for him to get adjusted to the new sensation. _I can't help but feel our positions are reversed. I'd be lying if I said that I cared, though._ His eyes rolled back as Lyra moved unrelentingly up and down, crude slapping noises coursing through the apartment. She flipped him onto his side, keeping the pace up as he grabbed a pillow and moaned into hit, hitting his second orgasm of the night. Lyra _hmmmed_ as she felt the spurt of seed inside her, still pumping as if nothing had happened while the warmth soothed her insides. She pulled off of him momentarily, her magic flickering to life as the spurt of semen flew out of her and into a nearby trashcan. A second burst of magic hit Spike's cock, restoring him to full mast.

Spike groaned an unintelligible response into the pillow.

"What's that, boy? I can't _hear you!_"

He moved the pillow from his face long enough to plead, "_Harder!_"

Lyra grinned savagely as she pushed him back onto his back, riding him for all he was worth as fast as she could go. Every thrust filled her to the brim, covered him to the hilt, and with each movement she was loathe to let him exit her. Eventually, she reached her climax as well, moaning heavily as her walls clenched around him, drawing another panting gasp from the sweating young man.

"How was it for you?" She grinned as she playfully wiggled her bottom against his groin.

He groaned as he tried to control his frazzled nerves. "Oh _Celestia_, that was…just...wow."

Lyra smirked as she got up from the bed. "I thought so. Bonbon, your turn."

She got up all too readily from her seat and pounced on the bed. "It's about time, Lyra! Geez, you'd think sex was a marathon!" She climbed over Spike eagerly, peppering the laughing youth with kisses.

Lyra laughed as she smacked her girlfriend on the ass, prompting a squeal. "It's not my fault, you were the one hogging him at first." She sauntered over to Spike, whispering loudly enough in his ear for both of them to hear, "She likes it rough, _really _rough, so don't be afraid to hold back on her. She likes to be spanked too, so have fun with that."

Bonbon smiled cutely at Spike as he grinned with the newfound information. He sat up, asking her politely to rest on her hands and knees, which she obliged to.

"Where do you want me to fuck you?" He asked, with a smile on his face.

Bonbon blushed as she laid her head on the bed, posterior raised to the air. "In my ass, please?"

"Such a gentleman." Lyra scoffed from the sidelines. Both ignored her.

Spike carefully took the tip of his manhood, brushing it briefly against Bonbon's vagina to tease her a little, and lined it up with her cute little plug. "Are you ready?"

She nodded patiently. Spike took a deep breath as he tightened his grip on her ass, then plunged in despite the resistance.

_Celestia rape me with her FIST!_ Spike gasped as he entered Bonbon, her ass far, _far _tighter than Lyra had been. He had to hold back an immediate orgasm, especially as Bonbon moaned out his name in abject pleasure. He sank into her unbelievably tight passage to the hilt, Bonbon's moans reaching new heights of arousal with every inch. When he tried to pull out, he found her insides clamping down on his member, and he found it fairly difficult to keep it from sucking him back in. He panted at the new sensation, his sensitive organ already protesting from the loss of warmth. His attention was recalled to the woman beneath him when she pressed her ass back against his stomach, wiggling it tantalizingly.

Bonbon purred as she regarded him with half-lidded eyes. "I'm glad I feel so good for you, Spike. Now are you going to finish me like a good boy, or are you just going to keep sitting there?"

His response was to pounce onto her.

He slammed repeatedly into the howling woman's backside, occasionally slapping her ass to accompany her arousal. She begged, she pleaded, she spoke his name as if it were the only thing she knew to say. All the while, her tender ass clenched around his member, loathe to leave his presence and happy to welcome him back. She eagerly offered up her body to him, which he whole-heartedly accepted. He pushed her down to her stomach, pumping savagely into her while he grasped her hands in his own. All of his stress of the day, from the strangers ogling him, to the sexual tension Lyra gave him, from his need to give this woman a fucking so _grand_ that she'd be begging him to come back, all of it poured into Bonbon as she took everything he had to offer.

"Oh Spike, YES! Oh, baby, _fuck me_!" She moaned into the mattress with each thrust as he gave her his all and more. He reached over her back and grabbed her by the hair, the writhing woman beneath him laughing in ecstasy as he manhandled her. Her full breasts bobbed and forth in time to each of his thrusts, her swollen lips uttering praises for each moment of bliss he gave her. She felt herself mounting up to a monstrous orgasm as she crossed her ankles over one another, then uncrossing them in her ecstatic hysterics.

"Oh my gosh, _oh my gosh!_" Her voice cracked as she clenched Spike's member one last time as her orgasm rocked her body. Spike gasped as his fourth orgasm hit him, biting into Bonbon's shoulder to muffle his moans. Lyra grinned approvingly as the two exhausted lovers fell back on the bed, trying desperately to gather their breath.

"Not bad, not bad. I guess you've more than earned another romp with me, Spike." She froze as she heard two sets of snoring, both her girlfriend and new best friend having been knocked out completely by the night's strenuous activities.

Lyra groaned in frustration at the sight, pulling at her hair at having lost her chance for a second round of lovemaking. "_Screw you two_! I'm going to go watch TV!" The fuming beauty pulled her pants and shirt back on and stalked back into the living room, muttering to herself angrily as she scratched her butt.

Before he drifted off to sleep, a final whisper of Fancy Pants's voice echoed throughout Spike's mind. _Well done, my boy, well done._

He smiled.


	2. The Ones Who Have Cherished Your Company

_The young boy stared at the door for minutes after she had left, the fake smile he had plastered on his face not yet beginning to crack._

_Sighing heavily, he forced his feet to move himself back to the kitchen, where he dumped Twilight's half-eaten meal in the trash and picked up the broom by its worn handle. He pocketed the gem that had once again been his birthday present to himself, mentally noting to go to Rarity's later on in the day to place an order for Twilight's rapidly diminishing wardrobe; after all, going out on missions for the Princess could be life-threatening at times._

_He stared listlessly at the floor, his mind blank as he went through the motions._

_After all, thirteen years old was just another number, wasn't it?_

Spike stirred from his rest as he felt something—rather, some_one_—brush against his side. He looked over blearily to find a familiar face with blue and pink hair looking back at him. A lovely, satisfied smile was on her face.

"Morning."

_Ugh…use your words, Spike._ "Morning, Bonbon. You…sleep well?"

She sighed as she draped her leg over his bare waist. "Like a baby. I'm just afraid Lyra still might be upset about not getting another turn."

Struggling to think through the mixed haze of lust and sleepiness, Spike dumbly noted the morning wood that had made its presence known. "Oh man, I _really _overstayed my welcome last night, didn't I? I should've gotten back to my dorm, but—"

Bonbon silenced him with a gentle kiss on the lips, slipping her tongue inside slightly as she pressed down on top of him.

She looked at him, tracing his jawline with adoration as her firm breasts rubbed against his chest. "Don't _ever _apologize for last night, Spike." She rubbed her nose against his cutely. "That was some of the best sex I've ever had, and I'm not just saying that."

She ground her hips against his as she moved down his body, a playful smirk on her face. "You're _always _welcome here, Spike. _Especially_ righthere."

His eyes rolled back as she took him into her mouth.

Spike mouthed a _shh_ to Bonbon as they tiptoed out of the bedroom, catching sight of the sleeping teal-haired woman sprawled out on the couch. She was still dressed in her pants and bra from the previous night, lying face down and drowning out the television with her snores.

Bonbon whispered into his ear, "She's a _really _deep sleeper, so don't be afraid to get creative."

She pinched him on the butt playfully as he stepped lightly over the discarded clothes from last night's lovemaking.

Spike pulled her pants down gently, taking a long, appreciative stare at her ass. It wasn't quite as thick as Bonbon's, but darker in color and made up in firmness what it lacked in size.

_She must work out._ He bit back a mischievous grin as he prepared to wake up his new friend, positioning his member directly in front of her naked bottom.

He wasted no time, rolling his hips into hers in one fluid motion, biting back a sigh as he sank fully into her.

Lyra awoke with a start, gasping at the sudden sensation of being filled up. She swiveled her head around, eyes widening as she saw Spike thrusting into her from behind.

"W-what are you…" she trailed off as she slowly closed her eyes, humming as she bit into the fabric of the couch.

Spike chuckled boyishly as he leaned in close to her ear, hands still gripped firmly on her ass. "I still owed you one from last night, so I'm making it up to you." Every push into her caused a small squeal to escape from her mouth, something Spike found _immensely _gratifying after her display of power the night before.

She wrapped her bare feet around his waist, moaning as he gripped her by the shoulders. "Why…didn't you take my clothes off first?"

Spike shrugged, only lately realizing that she couldn't see him doing it. "I dunno, you just look really sexy wearing pants is all. Makes you look more powerful."

Lyra hid her blush by putting her face against the couch, her head ramming into the pillow repeatedly. "Thanks…" She moaned as she felt an orgasm building up inside of her, spurred on by Spike's steady pumping and the weight of him on her back. A few more seconds, and she would—

Spike groaned as he pulled out, not having an orgasm himself, but rather a bored look on his face. He looked around as he stretched, putting his pants back on. "I'm hungry, you guys have anything to eat in here?"

Lyra stared at him incredulously, her face still flushed and ass still raised in the air. "W-what?"

He hovered lazily around the room, scratching his cheek boyishly as Bonbon walked out of the bedroom, fully clothed. "I mean, we could go out and get something, if you don't. We might even find two hot babes with an apartment and ulterior motives."

He winked at Lyra, chuckling as she blustered angrily at being denied her chance to finish. "What the _hell _is wrong with you! Get back over here and finish fucking m—"

She was unable to finish her sentence, before the young man stepped before her, softly pushing her back down to the couch, a finger on her lips.

"Hush."

Bonbon leant over the counter, grinning crookedly as Lyra glared in frustration at the teasing green-haired boy.

He leant down, straddling her as he pushed Lyra further against the wall as his bare chest pressed against her. Her anger was quickly forgotten as she flushed with excitement.

"Here's the thing, Lyra."

Spike brushed a hand through her hair, looking at it distractedly as he spoke to her.

"See, I'm not some little boy who thinks he just got to bed two gorgeous women because they decided they wanted a good time." He glanced at her with purpose, green eyes lidded as his hand moved down to rub her back slowly. "I came home with you last night because _I _decided that if I was going to start having sex," Hers and Bonbon's eyes widened at this, "then it might as well be with the two of you."

He had a cocky grin as he slid off of her, snapping off her bra as he went. "Truth is, I'm _hot_." Spike pinched her on the cheek as she stared dumbly at him, breasts hanging out as she moved to climb over him. "I know I am, _you _know I am, and Bonqueesha over here sure knows it."

"Fa real, shawty." Bonbon called from the kitchen.

Spike looked at Lyra intently, his eyes measuring her; sweaty with anticipation, angry at the lack of release, and dumb with arousal.

_Perfect._

"So tell me, Lyra. Do you want to _feel_ me?" He laughed inwardly at her reaction.

"I can see where this is going…" She gritted her teeth at the repeat of last night's conversation, only now the one on the losing side.

Spike looked at his nails disinterestedly as he waited for her response. "Well?"

She groaned. "Yes…"

He hugged his chest against hers, feeling his ego fairly satisfied as she gasped and immediately rubbed against his abs. "Do you want to know how _firm _I am? Do you want to know what I can _really_ do to you?"

She moaned, his mouth now on her neck, tongue massaging her in little circles. "Yes!" She clutched at his shoulders as she tried to grind into him, only for his knee to gently place itself in her stomach, blocking her.

He growled as he clutched at her arms, pinning them to the wall as he pushed her back against the couch, flipping their positions. "Do you want me to take you, right here, again and again? Use you like my toy until you can't walk because you're sore? Do you want me to put your footprints on the fucking _ceiling?_"

She nearly came on the spot at the idea. "Yes, yes, _yes!_"

Spike smirked, stopping all contact as he rose from the couch.

A quick glance to the kitchen. Bonbon shook her head, cracking up silently as her friend thoroughly tortured her girlfriend. Spike looked back down at Lyra, panting desperately as she spread her legs for him, practically asking him to finish what he started.

A smirk. "Then beg for it."

Her eyes turned as wide as dinner plates. "You magnificent _bastard._" She got to her knees, grabbing Spike by the legs as she pulled him closer.

"Oh _gorgeous _and _incredibly _well-endowed Spike, I come to you as a humble woman of simple needs. Verily I say unto you, I desire the grace of your gifted tongue and the vigor of your enticing girth." She rolled her eyes as he snorted in laughter, continuing her deadpan speech. "Please, oh _sexy _one, spoil me with that which I do not deserve and shoot me with your love gun."

Spike and Bonbon clutched their sides in laughter as Lyra waited for them to stop.

Spike wiped a tear from his eye as he calmed down. "Haha, I guess I'll have to take that."

He looked to her with a smirk on his face, caressing her face gently. "Undress me."

Seconds later, his pants hit Bonbon in the face.

"Suck." Lyra eagerly took his entire length inside her mouth, with somewhat practiced ease. He groaned as her nose brushed against his balls, before she moved her head back, preparing for another stroke with her tongue. Her head bobbed up and down his sizable manhood, tongue curling around the head and flicking against the flare of his penis.

Spike pulled her back by her hair, something Lyra found _immensely _arousing. His dick popped out of her mouth. "Okay, that's enough for now. On the table." Lyra immediately obliged him, her breasts pressing into the glass as she sat on her knees, ankles crossed and bottom pointing out.

Bonbon whistled, impressed, as she poured a bowl of cereal. "Damn, son. Not many guys can pull out of a blowjob like that."

Spike grinned as he too sat on his knees, directly behind Lyra. "They would if they knew what was coming next." He grabbed Lyra by the hips, licking vigorously at her as she screamed in surprise.

He flicked his tongue across her slit before moving up to wrap his tongue around the small bump of her womanhood. He cherished her moans, knowing they were all for the amazing things he was making her feel.

"Sp-Spike!" She gripped the table as she twitched uncontrollably, pressing even further down into the table as her toes dug into the carpet.

He slapped her ass harshly, feeling pleased as she let out a yelp of surprise.

An idea crossed his mind as Lyra squirmed even more beneath him. His eyes rolled back in a silly grin as he grasped her buttocks and moved his tongue back to her nub.

"LELELELELELELE!"

"AH!" Lyra could help but laugh and moan at the same time. "This isn't *snort* fucking _funny_!" She laughed as she came explosively, trembling as Spike climbed over her and kissed her firmly, making sure she tasted herself.

Her legs felt weak, and she couldn't trust herself to walk. Lyra twisted herself so that her back was against the table, arms draped casually as her legs spread. "So, boss, are you ready to show me a thing or two? Or is that all you've got?"

Spike snorted. "Nigga please. I'm _nowhere _near done with you yet." He pushed her back onto the table, legs hooked around his neck in a lustful embrace.

He prepared to push into her, then thought better of it. "On second thought, it might not be such a good idea to fuck your brains out on a glass table."

Bonbon called out from the kitchen, "Oh, don't worry about that. We've tested that table multiple times, it's fuck-resistant."

Spike shrugged. "If you say so." He placed his manhood against Lyra's bottom, flush against her once-exit.

"Oh! Lyra's never had it in the ass before, so be gentle." Bonbon yelled from the kitchen. She pulled up a chair, watching them prepare to fuck as she ate her Cheerios.

Lyra pouted as Spike spread her, preparing to enter. "But I poop from there…"

Spike rolled his eyes, slowly pushing the tip into her as she gasped in pain. Bonbon approached her. "Don't worry, honey, it hurts at first, I know. It gets better soon, trust me." She cupped Lyra's face.

"B-but it _hurts_!" She whined, now half of Spike's length inside of her.

Bonbon snorted as she pulled back, sitting on her chair again. "Geez Lyra, you're not going to split in half. Stop being such a little bitch."

Lyra gaped at her girlfriend's attitude. "Well _fuck_ _you_ too!"

Bonbon smiled lovingly. "Later, dear."

Lyra chose not to respond, instead adopting the pained expression that a person usually have when they have a dick in their ass. She panted as Spike's full length finally stopped moving, burying himself fully in her.

Spike was panting himself, leaning in close and licking her on the lips. "So? How is it?"

She loved how red his face was, his manhood enveloped fully by her own ass. "Just…just give me a few."

Spike obediently waited for her to adjust, despite the urge to start bucking into her clawing at his mind. _A gentleman must always show restraint, _he could imagine Fancy Pants saying.

_Wait, why am I thinking of another man in his mid-thirties while I'm having sex?_

He chose not to venture down that train of thought.

Lyra nodded absently, pulling Spike in closer with her legs as she grunted huskily. "Okay, I think I'm ready now." She gasped as he rolled his hips. "Y-you're so _deep_."

Spike instead focused on pulling out of her; seeing as she was fairly tighter than Bonbon, he constantly had to fight the urge to ravish Lyra completely. "Wow, I knew you were a tight-ass, but this is a little much."

Lyra rolled her eyes at the pun, softly gasping as he pulled out as far as his tip, before sliding back in. She closed her eyes, focusing entirely on the sensations he was giving her. Each time he pumped into her, she let out a little "Ah!", encouraging him to push even deeper and harder. Eventually, they were managing a few strokes every few seconds, her legs bobbing wildly in the air on Spike's shoulders as he had his way with her.

He felt the curve of her ass as he spread her cheeks even further, kissing her deeply and feeling her moans vibrate through his mouth.

"Come," Spike spoke, breaking the kiss long enough to utter the single word.

Lyra let out a final gasp, arching her back and curling her toes as her orgasm wracked her body. Spike grunted, taking a few more seconds as she clamped down even harder on his member, slapping into her ass crudely as he came inside her.

Lyra moaned as she felt his hot seed enter his ass, not bothering to move yet. Instead, she lowered her legs from Spike's neck, pulling him up toward her and snaking her arms around his head, ensnaring him in a kiss. One lone hand journeyed further below, gripping his ass firmly as he smiled into their kiss.

Bonbon clapped proudly from her chair, smiling grandly as her worn-out girlfriend rested on the table, positively radiating satisfaction. "Beautiful performance people, simply beautiful."

Spike pulled his boxers on as he began to get dressed, grinning down at the still naked Lyra. "So? How was it for you?"

She stayed quiet for a while, still trying to catch her breath after two incredible but exhausting orgasms. "There's no way we're not doing this again, you guys." She finally said.

Bonbon agreed. "Like I said before, you're always welcome here Spike." She narrowed her eyes sexily. "Any day of the week, I'd say."

Spike laughed good-naturedly. "That good, huh? I just might take you up on that." He pulled on his shirt and smoothed his hair back. "Maybe next time we could go out and do something? I'll treat you two to dinner. Before you ravish me in the streets, I mean."

Bonbon and Lyra blinked simultaneously, before genuine smiles broke out on both of their faces.

Lyra spoke up from the table. "I think we'd really like that."

_ Spike stalked angrily out of the Carousel Boutique, unable to stand the sight of Rarity fawning over another handsome customer. He attributed her impatience with him to the mission she had just returned from with Twilight and the others, but he knew that she would rather be alone with the customer._

_With _him.

_He was gone before she could remember that she too had forgotten his birthday._

After exchanging numbers, Spike left his new best friends, promising to visit soon. He made his way back to his quarters at the palace, grinning with all the confidence of a handsome young man who just had mind-blowing sex multiple times in the past couple hours.

_So, what the _hell _am I writing to the Princess about this one?_

He nodded to the guards respectfully as they granted him access to the castle, finding the familiar passageway to his suite. He pulled his keys out as he approached the door, only to find it unlocked.

_That's strange…and fairly ominous._ He opened the door, his eyes immediately finding the purple-haired woman sitting on his bed.

"Twilight?"

She smirked as she swung her legs playfully. "Hey, stranger! Been a while, hasn't it?"

_Four years, as a matter of fact._

Her eyes were just beginning to tear away from the book she was reading. "I was told this was your room, but you weren't here when I showed up."

She finally glanced up, her next words falling out of her mouth. "I, uh…_wow._"

Spike shrugged. "That's the usual reaction."

Twilight shook the blush off her face, her hand rubbing her cheek in embarrassment. "Sorry, you just look…really, _really _different." Her eyes raced up and down his body, half out of curiosity, and half out of slight interest.

Spike stood awkwardly in the middle of the floor as Twilight eyed him up and down. "Are we gonna hug, or something…?"

Twilight immediately jumped up from the bed, wrapping her arms around him burying her head in his chest.

He rolled his eyes as she tried to smell him covertly.

"You've changed so much." Came her muffled voice.

"I know." Came his reply.

Twilight pulled back, her eyes glistening as she looked up at him. "We haven't seen each other for _years_, Spike. How come you never came to see me? How come you never wanted to see me when I was in Canterlot?"

_Great, now it's _this _question. _"I was in hibernation, Twilight. Princess Luna tutored me through my dreams, but I was in the equivalent of a coma."

Twilight mouthed an _oh, _before resting her head back on his chest. "Your vocabulary has gotten bigger too."

Spike smirked. _Of course that would get her attention._ "Impressed, I take it?"

Twilight nodded good-humoredly. "Very!" She sat back down on the bed, swinging her legs again as she studied the young man in front of her. Spike examined her as well.

She was wearing a white blouse, covered by her favorite purple argyle sweater-vest, along with a black pencil skirt and small black shoes.

He made sure to limit how often he looked at her bare legs.

She looked confused as she stared at his outfit for the first time. "You look nice, but your clothes are really rumpled, and you smell like sweat." She blushed mildly as she considered the possible answers to her next question. "Have you been busy? Running around, I mean."

_He smells like sex,_ she said to herself.

_I smell like sex,_ he said to himself.

Spike rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah, actually. I was on my way back here so I could get showered and change." He ambled over to his drawer, pulling out a more casual shirt, green in color, and a pair of black jeans.

Twilight banished a perverted thought that immediately sprung to the front of her mind at the first mention of a shower. "Oh! That's good, the sooner you do that, the sooner we can get going!"

He paused. "Going where?"

Twilight grinned. "Back home, of course!" She fanned her arms out in an excited posture. "Surprise!"

Spike turned rigid, before remembering who he was in front of and deciding to stay calm. "Alright, I guess. I take it you already asked the Princesses?"

Twilight bobbed her head excitedly up and down.

He shrugged. "Alright then, just give me a few minutes and I'll be ready."

Spike looked at Twilight on the bed, leaning back, hands planted firmly on the mattress and legs sticking out. A pleasant expression was on her face.

_I could take her, right now, and she would let me. _Her wandering eyes confirmed it.

He sighed. _But I won't._ Spike smiled to himself as he turned around, a mischievous thought dashing through his mind.

_Doesn't mean I can't mess with her, though._ He hooked his hands under his dress shirt, pulling it off and flinging it into the dirty clothes hamper he kept in the corner of his room.

He cherished the way Twilight's eyes nearly burst out of their sockets, almost instantaneously visually molesting his chest.

"I've got some food in the cabinets over there if you're hungry, and some leftover sweet potato casserole in the fridge if you want some dessert. I'll be right out, okay?" He pretended to be oblivious to the effects he was having on her, stretching lazily as Twilight drank in the sight of him.

Silence.

He waited a suitable amount of time for the 'realization' that Twilight wasn't replying to him to sink in. "Really, Twilight? My eyes are up _here._" He faked disappointment as Twilight flailed in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, I just—I mean, I was—" Her face was as red as an apple.

Spike just pinched his nose, milking his act a little further. "Just wait there, okay?"

"Okay." She squeaked from her place on the couch.

_Perfect._ He grinned as he walked into his bathroom.

_Twilight had been reluctant, but respectful of his wishes. He had claimed that Princess Luna understood dragons much more than most anyone alive, generally because she was among the few to survive an encounter with one; taking her up on her offer to take him on as her student was a chance he couldn't risk ignoring. His reasoning was pure in Twilight's eyes, but the truth was, he really, _really _needed to get away from this town for a while. In truth, he knew few people his age, and did little more than chores at the library. He rarely went on picnics with Twilight and her friends, much less help when they were in actual danger. This already in mind, he had originally believed that the day couldn't get much worse than it already had, having his best friend forgetting his birthday and the one he loved dismissing him with little more than a thought._

Yeah right, _he thought to himself._

_When Pinkie Pie herself hadn't made a single appearance all day, the one woman who always remembered every single one of her friend's birthdays, he had already made arrangements to move back to Canterlot indefinitely._

_It was dusk when he sent the letter._

Spike and Twilight stepped out of the wildly decorated train, marveling at the beautiful sunset.

"Let's go, Spike! The others are waiting on us! You wouldn't _believe _how much Peewee missed you when you were gone!" Twilight pulled Spike by the arm and ran, the teenager lugging their heavy bags on one shoulder as if they weighed nothing.

They stopped at the library, nostalgia sweeping through his mind as Spike felt a strange twinge of paranoia.

_Why do I get the feeling that I'm being watched?_

Twilight unlocked the door. Immediately, a party horn blasted into their faces, a blueberry pie slamming into Spike's face as he stumbled backwards.

"Sur-PIES!" Pinkie's face grinned as she beheld her handiwork.

"How did you get inside my house?" Twilight screeched as she tried to help Spike to his feet. "We were supposed to meet at the restaurant after we dropped our stuff off!"

Pinkie Pie put her hands on her hips, grinning at Twilight playfully. "Really, Twilight? Are we gonna go through this again?"

Twilight facepalmed.

Spike sputtered as he got up, trying to wipe the residue from his face. "What the heck was _that _for?"

A shit-eating grin. "Comedy!"

Spike grunted as he grabbed his shirt, removing it carefully so as to keep any of the pie from staining it. He stumbled into the library, toward a sink.

Pinkie Pie gasped as she realized that, going by his build, she just pelted a fairly attractive young man that may or may not have been single.

She waved her hands frantically. "No, wait, I'm sorry! Here, let me lick it off of you!"

Twilight growled as she floated Pinkie Pie away from the cringing young man. "Oh no you don't!"

Spike muttered a word of thanks before running his face under the stream of water. After it was thoroughly scrubbed, he reached for a towel.

A voice called out. "Hey Twilight, who's the stud? And is he single?"

He slowly removed the towel from his face, narrowing his eyes at the source. He spotted Rainbow Dash sitting on the stairs examining, recognition shining in her eyes as she looked him up and down, then down again, then back up.

Applejack gawked from the other side of the room. "Spike? Is that you?"

Fluttershy's eyes widened immeasurably. "Oh my…"

Rainbow Dash leapt up from the stairs. "Look who grew up on us! You 18 yet, Spike?" She patted him on the shoulder and flicked him on one of his biceps, whistling.

"Hello to you too, Rainbow Dash." He stated flatly. He'd be lying if her inquiry didn't flatter him.

"Leave the poor young man _alone_, Rainbow Dash! For Celestia's sake, can't you go a single day without trying to pick someone up?" Rarity walked over from her seat next to Fluttershy. "Just because Spike has grown up doesn't mean you can push him around." She narrowed her eyes as she rested an arm on his shoulders as well. "Especially into your bed."

Rainbow Dash looked insulted. "I can't believe you'd insinuate I'd try to force one of my old friends into my bed!" She looked Spike up and down again as he reached for his shirt. "I mean, a table would do just as fine. Or a car—"

Rarity gave an unamused stare before Spike interrupted the bold young woman. "If you ladies are done blatantly sexualizing a minor, I'd like to get going."

Twilight nodded in approval as Rainbow Dash shrugged and Rarity clasped a hand to her chest. "Are you insinuating that I am—"

Spike looked over to her, unhooked her hand from around his waist, and held it up to her face.

"You were saying?"

Applejack snickered as she got up and headed for the door. "C'mon, we don't wanna be late again like last week, ya _cougars._"

Spike blinked as the other five women in the room simultaneously coughed. "Last week? What happened last week?"

Applejack winked at him as she walked past. She pinched Twilight on the butt, making the librarian squeak in surprise.

"Oh, you know. Stuff."


	3. The Ones Who Have Wronged You

_The moon goddess stared down at the young boy, her gaze both intimidating and calming. Her inquiry rang throughout the emptied court._

"_We do indeed know the most about thy people, young one, and it would be Our sublime pleasure to take you on as an apprentice."_

_She clucked her tongue as she rested Her beautiful head on an upraised fist, her curious eyes seeking something._

"_However, thou hast refused Our offer before, and while We are glad that thou hast changed thy mind, We cannot help but wonder why thou enters Our halls with sorrow guiding thy steps."_

_Spike looked up blearily to the gorgeous Princess of the Night. "Please, Princess Luna, I _need _to come back to Canterlot. I love living with Twilight and being her assistant, but that's…she just can't give me what I need any more."_

_Luna narrowed Her eyes. "So thou would come unto Us as a pleading suppliant to receive the attention a boy such as yourself requires?" She drew up, angrily gripping her throne's handles._

"_You would insult Our invitation on a whim? _We_ were old before you were born!"_

_The boy stood his ground, leveling an understanding gaze at the Princess._

"_Because you know what it's like to revolve around the Sun."_

* * *

Silence.

Spike wanted to melt into his seat at the stares he was receiving, some more searching than he would prefer.

Applejack leaned back into her seat, placing a gentle but firm hand on his shoulder.

"You might as well spill, sugar. We smelt the sex on ya the minute ya strutted in tha house."

"I don't strut…" Spike muttered.

"_Who was it?_" Twilight growled angrily from across the table, grateful that she had cast a soundproofing spell around their booth after Rainbow Dash had broached the subject.

Spike barely held back a whimper at her ferocity. "I-it's no big deal, Twilight. It only happened once!" He reconsidered his statement. "Wait, no, it was four times, about over the span of twelve hours."

_Crap, that's probably just digging me deeper._

Applejack whistled, Rainbow Dash licked her lips, while the others stared in bewilderment.

Except Twilight, whose rage only increased.

"So you just let some absolute _stranger _take advantage of you like that? I thought I could trust you to behave responsibly on your own!" She screeched.

Spike narrowed his own eyes. "They didn't take advantage of me, Twilight. In case you haven't noticed, I'm more than capable of taking care of myself."

Rainbow Dash reached into a bucket of popcorn that Pinkie Pie had pulled out of seemingly nowhere. "Tell her, brother!"

Both ignored the comment as Twilight retaliated. "You're _seventeen_! That's no age for you to go out on your own and pretend you're an adult! Clearly I gave you too much responsibility!"

Spike himself was getting fairly worked up. "My _gosh_, Twilight, you're right! Celestia forbid I do anything as challenging as run a library by myself for days on end while my roommate is out of the _region!_"

_Oohs _and _ahs_ were muttered as the two former roommates verbally sparred. Applejack leaned in close to Rainbow Dash, whispering into her ear.

"Whaddaya figure got those two worked up so badly? Used to be thick as thieves, and now they're goin' fer each other's throats."

Dash whispered back sagely, "It's simple, really: ever since Spike was born, Twilight's always been right by his side. Naturally, she's the person he's the most comfortable with, right?"

Applejack nodded.

Dash continued, "Now that Spike's been on his own for four years, Twilight isn't his anchor anymore, and she feels like he might be using other girls and sex to replace her. Add to that that Spike's fine as _hell _now, and she's confused with her attraction to him, and now we've got a sexually-frustrated Twilight who's trying to force herself back into Spike's life, and it's not working so well for either of them."

Applejack stared in amazement at the shorter woman. "That's…really deep for you."

Rainbow Dash snorted, a cocky smirk on her face. "There's more to me than sports and mind-blowing sex, AJ."

The blonde rolled her eyes. "Ah'm sure."

The argument raged on. "What makes you think you can just tell me what to do anymore, huh? I didn't say anything when I found out _you _were banging your own friends!" Spike yelled.

Twilight's blush could easily be mistaken for anger. "Because you're my responsibility!"

A vein throbbed in his head. "You're _NOT _my _MOM_, Twilight!" He angrily spat, moving from the booth, not bothering to look back as Twilight gasped and tried to hold back tears.

"I'm going to get some air."

* * *

_Luna froze on her throne, the boy's heartbreaking words striking far too close to home for her liking. "What dost thou mean?"_

_Spike didn't let up on his sorrowful gaze for a second. "Everything I do, I do for Twilight. I run her library, I cook her food, I try to snap her out of it when she's being stupid."_

_Luna made to speak, but the boy wasn't done yet._

"_And…I love every second of it. But…we just can't give each other what we need anymore."_

_Luna raised an eyebrow. "We believe thou hast said that before. What is thy meaning?"_

_He shuffled his feet._

"_I can't live in Twilight's shadow forever, Princess, and she needs her friends as much as I need to grow up. Lately," he choked up, "we've been suffocating each other."_

* * *

He remembered his exercises, sitting with his legs crossed, taking deep breaths before exhaling them in the form of gentle green flames, feeling his anger gradually fading away.

It was times like these he was grateful for his decision to leave, both for the absence of conflict and his greater degree of self-control.

_Everything comes with a sacrifice, I guess._

"Spike?" A familiar voice called to him from behind. He turned to see his old crush looking at him intently.

He snorted out a bit of smoke from his nose, unwilling to engage in another argument.

"Rarity."

She frowned at his tone, sitting down next to him on the grass regardless. "Let's just talk for a bit, dear. We have _so_ much to talk about."

Confident due to his bitterness, he eyed Rarity up and down, unashamedly checking her out, something that didn't go unnoticed by her.

She was wearing a lovely purple leather jacket, covering up her white blouse. His eyes traveled down to her legs, covered in a black skirt and adorned with similarly colored stockings and heels.

"Spike," she clucked, "it's not very gentlemanly to stare at a lady openly like that."

He rolled his eyes. "And I'm sure it's perfectly fine for a _lady_ to hook her arm around my waist the second my shirt is off."

She pointed her nose up into the air in a mock-snobbish pose. "I never said it wasn't; I was just taking advantage of society's double standards."

He frowned.

"Spike, dear, please tell me what's wrong." Rarity's smile only flattened as the young boy refused to speak. "I know I'm not the prettiest woman there is, but I at least used to have an effect on you. Is four years _that_ long a time?"

Sighing, he turned to face her. "No, Rarity, you know better than that. Canterlot kind of took the edge off, but you're still the most gorgeous woman I've ever laid eyes on."

Her ego soared as she heard his earnest words.

"It's just…I can't go _anywhere _without someone trying to hit on me, or feel me," he shuddered at this, "or tell me what I want to hear just so they can try and bed me."

She stared flatly at him. "Since when did you get a sex change?"

He rolled his eyes at her. "I'm just too attractive, Rarity. I don't even go on dates because they always turn out superficial!"

Rarity smirked at him, unbelieving. "I'll admit Spike, you're a head-turner now, but that hardly means—"

He suddenly turned to meet her eyes, giving Rarity the Look. She stopped talking immediately as he climbed over her, running a hand up her thigh as his hot breath caressed her pale neck.

"I'm going to make love to you, on this very hill, _right now_, and I'll make sure _Celestia _hears your moans." He growled into her ear.

Her legs immediately locked around his waist, her hands reaching under his shirt to caress his muscles.

"Oh Celestia, _yes, please!_" Her head darted up, seeking a kiss, only for Spike to roll away, his head already resting in his hands in a relaxed position.

"See what I mean?" He muttered absently, rolling a wad of something in his hand.

Rarity sputtered, not sure whether to be upset, aroused, or furious at being played so easily. "That-that's not fair at all! You used your sex appeal on me!"

"Not so fun to be on the receiving end, is it?" He looked over, giving Rarity a wink.

Her blush only increased as her arousal refused to die down.

"Well, yes, but I _never _took it to that degree!" She stamped her foot in anger.

Spike looked back at her. "Duh. That's me getting back at you for years of being teased." He grabbed her hand, kissing it gently. "Don't worry, I'll indulge you next time."

She nearly choked on her own spit.

"What in Celestia's name makes you even _think _there's going to be a next time?" She shrieked.

He sucked on her finger teasingly, smiling when a small moan escaped her.

"There's going to be a next time."

_Okay! I'm fine with that! _Rarity pouted as she reluctantly removed her finger from Spike's mouth. "What happened to you not wanting girls who had ulterior motives?"

Spike smirked, standing as he helped up the designer. "I'm not the boy I was, Rarity. I'm not about to hop into bed with you."

She couldn't keep the disappointment from showing on her face.

He leaned in close, grabbing her gently by the arm and gave her a chaste kiss on the cheek, like she had done to him so many times before.

_Man, I've been waiting since I was a kid to do that._

"Doesn't mean I can't mess with you, though."

Rarity only noticed belatedly that he had taken her panties.

* * *

_Luna strode down from her throne, grabbing the crying boy and giving him a tight hug._

"_It will be all right, young one, but you must tell Us what in particular is upsetting you." She pulled back momentarily, searching his face._

"_What terrible truth was shown to you? What wrong was done to you to set you on this path?"_

_He simply cried into her chest._

Rainbow Dash intercepted Spike as he and Rarity reentered the restaurant, muttering something about needing to "have a little chat."

She sat him down at the bar, ordering a beer for herself.

Spike waited for her to start the conversation. However, she seemed content to simply sit and drink her alcohol in silence.

"What did you want to talk about, Dash?" He asked cautiously, unaware of her current mood.

She looked over at him, passing her eyes over him for a slight second before moving back to the booth where their friends were.

"No talking, just scoping out the meat."

He blinked. "The say-what now?"

She rolled her eyes. "I'm going to be brutally honest with you, Spike. You're hot and we all more or less are weighing the chances of getting to bed you. I bet Applejack that I'd lay you by this time next week, actually. So naturally, I need to know what you like."

Spike was unsurprised by her words. "You wasted your money, then. I'm not some common guy you can just bang by teasing me."

Dash raised her beer in protest. "Wrong on both accounts. I bet AJ eight orgasms that I'd do it, no money involved."

Spike's stare was incredulous, now picturing the two _very _shapely women going at it.

"Second, you're only half-right. You may not be the common guy, but you're definitely not all that observant."

"How do you figure?" He leaned on his arm next to the counter, suddenly feeling slightly tired.

She smirked, putting her bare foot on the counter. "Because, I just gave you a footjob under the counter not even fifteen seconds ago, and I was so stealthy, _you didn't even notice._"

Spike gaped as he looked down at his zipper, Dash's expert foot already moving it back into its proper place, patting his now-limp manhood mockingly.

Rainbow Dash shrugged. "Thing is, I still need to get you in bed for it to count, so clear your schedule." She put her finished beer on the counter, swiveling around in her seat as she turned to face the booth.

"Okay…" Spike muttered, still in awe.

Dash hooked an arm around his waist, pulling him closer to her. He couldn't help but feel smaller next to her, despite having a few inches on the athlete.

"Now then, back to business. Let's take a look at Fluttershy."

Spike took in the pink-haired beauty. "What about her?"

Rainbow Dash again rolled her eyes, slapping him playfully on the cheek. "We scope her out, that's what. 38D, naturally tall, long legs and gorgeous eyes. You like?"

Spike shrugged, feeling awkward about describing his attraction to the older woman. "Well yeah, she's gorgeous and everything. But it's _Fluttershy_, I'd feel like I'd be sodomizing the Easter Bunny."

Dash flicked him on the nose. "Not what I asked you, jackass."

Spike cringed. _She's like a rowdier, constantly horny version of Lyra, now that I think about it._

"Um…she's got a nice figure and perfect skin, but her shyness kind of takes away from her sex appeal. Tall chicks are attractive, I guess."

He took in her outfit; Fluttershy's wardrobe was naturally conservative, her beige sweater hugging her torso flatteringly, but not enough to arouse any kind of interest. He couldn't complain when he saw that it was all she was wearing, stopping just above her knees.

_Rarity's influence, no doubt._

Rainbow Dash leaned in close, whispering in her ear. "Listen, 'Shy isn't the social type, but she's still a woman. She may blush or faint when she gets a compliment, but she's not exactly easy to approach either. It's not good for just the five of us to be the only ones to tell her she's pretty." She licked his ear playfully, enjoying how he jumped. "Plus she really needs to get laid, by a guy."

Spike still felt awkward at the idea. "I'll…think about it.

She clapped him on the back. "Okay, Pinkie Pie."

_Now _this_ I don't mind commenting on._ "She's probably got _my_ ideal figure, along with most guys." He smiled genuinely, unable to be upset when thinking about the upbeat girl. She was wearing a pink tank-top and black yoga pants, while her hair hung down in messy curls.

Dash blinked in surprise. "Really now? You prefer your girls with curves?" Her mind drifted to her practically flat body, considering her lack of femininity.

Spike shrugged. "Well I don't pick and choose, but you can't really look at her and not want to…you know."

Dash had to agree with him. "I guess so, yeah. What would you do with her?"

He paused. "It's _Pinkie Pie. _It'd be a crime against nature to not worship her ass."

Rainbow Dash nodded patiently. "Me?"

Spike turned to face her, drinking in her appearance. Dash wore a light blue hoodie, along with capris and tennis shoes. He had to fight back an erection just at the _sight _of her.

"You've got muscles, no doubt. Not as big as Applejack's, but they make you sleek and attractive. Your personality is another thing entirely. Abs." He commanded.

Dash rolled her eyes as she lifted up her hoodie, showing off her firm stomach, a line of sweat rolling down to her navel.

He stifled a groan, frowning as Dash grinned cockily at his obvious attraction to her.

"So? What do you think?"

His gaze lidded, he looked to Dash again, his eyes raking over her figure and lingering on her legs. "Tomorrow."

Rainbow Dash felt a naughty thrill crawling down to her stomach, despite the frown on her face. "I work tomorrow, tiger."

He was the one rolling his eyes now. "Fine then, I'll just have to take care of you the moment you leave the building."

A wicked grin spread across her face. "Not that I don't appreciate having a target on my ass, but why not tonight?"

Spike's eyes fell on the red-eyed girl sitting in the booth, her words blocked from reaching him by her soundproofing spell.

"I'm busy."

* * *

_The Princess held him in her lap, hoping to stop his tears, but also eager at her first chance in centuries to properly show affection; most young children still refused to stand even a few feet next to her out of irrational fear._

"_You should resent them," she remarked, dropping her familiar patterns of speech in order to sound more familiar. "Forgetting your birthday, taking you for granted, neglecting to spend time with you."_

_He nodded slowly. "I know I should." Spike's voice cracked, along with Luna's heart._

"_But I can't help but love them."_

"And-and he's grown-up now, and he's been learning for four years _straight _from Princess Luna, so what could I even hope to teach him now? She's given him the education I never could, and he won't _need_ me, and he'll let his hotness go to his head, and-and he'll become a manwhore, and then he'll become destitute from using all the money he gets on _drugs_, and he'll catch Super-AIDS, and I'll die alone, and—"

Applejack grew tired of her rambling, instead opting to grab her Pocket Apple and stuff it in Twilight's mouth.

_Funny, I usually have ta end up using them on Pinkie Pie._

Applejack cleared her throat. "Okay, sugar, let me just start by saying that Ah'm not even going to _begin _to go into what is wrong with what you just said. Spike's always been a responsible young man, so even if he's had sex with _one _person multiple times in one night, don't ya think ya should be more trustin' of 'em?"

Twilight sniffed. "Well, yeah, but he's so _young_, Applejack! Do you really think he's ready to get involved with girls like that?"

Pinkie Pie spoke up from her side of the table, for once fairly serious. "Twilight, Spike's been around girls his entire life. All he _knows _is girls. It wouldn't be as much of a problem if he wasn't as handsome or chivalrous as he is, but you raised him too well."

Twilight sniffed blearily as she looked at the cotton-candy haired woman.

"So…it's my fault?"

Pinkie Pie was silent for a moment. "Yeah!"

Applejack smacked her on the back of the head. "What she's tryin' ta say is that of course Spike's gonna be gettin' involved with other girls if they're all he's ever around. Takin' into consideration that he's pretty much been in hibernation for four years like ya said, I'm surprised he doesn't want to sleep with every pretty face he sees."

Twilight opened her mouth to reply, only to freeze when she felt a strong hand grip her arm.

"Come."

The two of them were enveloped in a green flame, a cloud of smoke all that remained.

It whisked out a nearby window, flying in the direction of the library.

* * *

Twilight gasped, flailing her arms around at the unexpected teleportation. She fell immediately into a nearby chair, still breathing heavily.

"What was _that?_" She was fairly sure she had just been set on fire, but couldn't smell a hint of smoke or cinders.

Spike stepped forward, grinning only a little smugly at the surprise his talents gave her.

"_Ignus gradus_, or 'fire step.' Princess Luna prefers to name her spells in Latin, and I copied this one from her."

Twilight blinked, remembering that she was angry with him, and crossed her arms in a huff.

Spike sighed, knowing that she was going to be difficult. "Look, Twilight, we need to talk."

She whipped her head around at him. "Why? I can't tell you what to do anymore. It's not like I'm your _mom _or anything."

He cringed, but pressed on regardless. "No, you're not."

She choked on her next words. "We're not even family, are we?"

Spike leaned back in surprise. "What are you talking about? Of course we are, we've been together since I was born!"

She shook her head feverishly. "No, Spike, we're not! Family doesn't look at each other like they're pieces of meat!"

Twilight inhaled deeply before speaking next. "When I saw you again, I…I felt ashamed. The first time I lay my eyes on you in four years, and I'm drooling on the inside!"

She cradled her face with her hands, her voice cracking in self-loathing.

"How can I even justify that?"

Spike looked down at his once-guardian, for once not knowing what to say that could comfort her.

_There is one thing_, he thought to himself, loathing the contrition he felt.

He swallowed the pain he suffered from her negligence as a child, shutting it away for another day. Regardless of what she did to him unknowingly, he knew that he could never hurt his first friend the way she hurt him.

"Twilight, it's alright." He picked her up bridal style, and carried her up to the loft, despite her struggles. "We haven't seen each other for years. You haven't seen me grow up."

He brushed his lips against her forehead in a kiss. "You were right when you said we're not family, in part. Naturally, we would be attracted to each other."

He paused momentarily to open the door, noting the minor changes.

_She got rid of my bed._

He trudged up the steps regardless, placing Twilight down on her mattress, taking her shoes off and rubbing her feet.

Her sobs stopped, as she looked down at Spike cautiously.

_I don't deserve you, do I?_

His gaze met hers.

_You don't, but that doesn't change anything._

Twilight sniffed. "We're not family, but we're still friends?"

Spike smiled back up at her, his familiar, comforting grin reassuring her just as it did years ago.

"Always."

* * *

Twilight rested on her back, her clothes all absent except for her panties and a t-shirt. Despite Spike's words of encouragement from before, she couldn't rest, not while knowing that there was still a _very _attractive young man resting on the floor not two feet from her.

"Spike, _please_, the bed is big enough for the two of us to share. You don't have to sleep on the floor."

He muttered from his place on the ground. "Yes huh, otherwise you'd have your way with me."

"No I wouldn't!" She sounded indignant at his assertion of lack of self-control on her part.

Spike sat down on the bed next to her, when Twilight realized that he was only wearing his boxers and eyeglasses.

"Still confident in your abilities?" He reached over Twilight, very obviously rubbing his chest against hers, to turn on her lamp.

"Of course!" _Must. Resist. Urge. To. Jump!_ She only went on lying for the sake of her pride.

Twilight noticed the book in his hands, her arousal momentarily forgotten. "What's that you're reading?"

He looked down at the cover. "Oh, this? Princess Luna wanted me to read something for pleasure since I was on break, so I just chose _The Stranger_."

Her eyes bulged, her arousal coming back full force. "You're reading _Camus? _For pleasure?"

Spike shrugged. "It's a little challenging at first, yeah, but enjoyable once you get used to his diction."

Twilight's jaw dropped, the brilliant young woman for once unable to think of a reply.

"I usually skim a few pages while playing Sudoku when I wake up in the morning."

To be honest, it _really _wasn't Twilight's fault, what with how quickly she pounced on top of Spike, throwing caution to the wind.

"I'll apologize later, I really will, but if you don't take me _right now_, I will honestly lose it." Twilight ripped off her shirt, baring her breasts to a wide-eyed Spike, before laying down to press them to his own chest.

"I know that I'm not being fair to you right now, and I'm so, _so _sorry. But I'm begging you, Spike, _please _let me get this out of my system."

He smirked. "By getting into your system?"

She rolled her eyes at his pun. "Oh _ha ha_, you incredibly witty bastard."

Spike smiled as he rolled from under her, switching their positions. "Alright then, I'll indulge you, Twilight."

He removed his boxers, dropping them into a nearby laundry hamper. He grabbed Twilight by the head gently, moving her to his now stiff erection.

"But you're going to have to work for it."

Twilight nodded slowly, taking his manhood into her mouth.

"I've never tried this with a guy before," she mumbled.

_HNNNNG_

Spike started as Twilight spoke directly onto his erection, shocked at the vibrations.

Twilight smirked as she saw his reaction. "That good, huh?"

She flicked her tongue over the tip of his cock, grinning evilly as she saw his tortured face.

"Twiliiiight…" Spike moaned.

The hairs on the back of her neck rose, deciding to begin her oral stimulation in earnest, pumping her hand up and down his length eagerly.

Spike groaned, pulling Twilight on top of him as he kissed her roughly. Twilight's excitement grew as she rapidly jerked him off with both hands, rubbing her breasts into his slightly sweaty chest.

"Say my name again," she commanded.

He complied, mumbling her name out in pressured groans.

_If that's not rewarding, I don't know what is_, Twilight thought to herself.

Without warning, Spike came into her hands, strings of semen shooting up onto Twilight's bare breasts.

Twilight giggled seductively as she used her magic to remove it, casting a spell to disintegrate the bodily fluids. "Too much for you, big guy?"

Spike growled, his voice huskier than before. "Shut up and fuck me."

Twilight whipped off her panties, her womanhood slick with her arousal. "Will do, captain."

She mounted him, placing her hands on either side of his head for support, and lowered herself.

She bit her lip in as she eased onto him. Spike groaned, his eyes shut as his arms wrapped around her head.

Twilight made sure to go slow at first, noting how she was only an inch or so shorter than him. She gasped as she fully enveloped his entire member, a moan coming out from her partner.

_I could _definitely _get used to this_. She brushed a hand through his hair, clenching it as she moved back and forth, her pleasure mounting with every moan that the boy underneath her gave.

She wasn't done torturing him yet, though.

Despite her nearing orgasm, Twilight dismounted the young man, yawning as she got up. "And here I was thinking you're a man, but you're letting me sit there and work you like a schoolboy." She smirked inwardly as she feigned disappointment, taking a sick pleasure in how Spike's look of shock completely replaced his arousal.

Twilight turned to walk away, sighing. "Maybe my _fingers_ will give me what I need, because I'm sure not getting it here."

_And 3…2…1…_

Twilight gasped in mock-surprise as Spike whipped her around and pushed her face-down on the mattress as he growled in anger.

"Like hell you are!"

Twilight smiled into the mattress. _Hook, line, and sink-MY ANUS!_

Spike plunged savagely into Twilight's ass, pumping hard and fast as his partner moaned pitifully into the bed.

Her legs flailed out behind her, her nails clenching the bedsheets.

"Fuuu-uu-uuu-ck!" She moaned with every thrust that she received, her vulgar language only encouraging Spike to move with even more vigor.

He cupped her breasts, now directly over her, loving how she writhed beneath him.

She came into the bed sheets, and with a few more frantic thrusts, so did he.

Spike started to pull out, before Twilight stopped him with a gentle brush of her hand.

"Please…can we just stay like this for a while?" Her face was flushed, her bottom stick and her hair ruffled in a way that made her much more attractive than usual.

But she was smiling.

Spike's anger died back down, obliging the girl beneath him.

_I could never stay mad at you, could I? No matter how much you screwed me over._

He laid down next to Twilight, his member still buried inside of her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, as they both drifted to sleep.

Silence.


	4. The Ones Who Have Found You Convenient

_Luna's guiding hand pulled the struggling young boy from the floor of his mind, the scorch marks of his own flame marring his body._

"_You must try again, young one. You are showing promise, but you still have a long way to go."_

_Spike wanted to roar in frustration, but he remembered that the Princess, while gorgeous and understanding, had little tolerance for lack of self-control._

"_I understand, Princess—"He started, before he was cut off._

"_It's Luna when we're alone, dear." Her smile comforted him, as it always did._

_He smiled back appreciatively, thinking nothing of how her hand lingered on his waist for a fair bit longer than usual._

"_Luna, if you don't mind me asking, how long have I been asleep? It feels like it's been a couple hours," the young boy queried._

"_Oh," she gestured in an uncaring manner, "only about two years. Why do you worry?"_

_Spike's eyes widened as her statement sunk in. "Two…years?" He flailed his arms wildly. "How could I have been gone for that long? I-I need to talk to my friends!"_

_Luna frowned, clutching the boy to her hip protectively. "You're in hibernation, dearest. You cannot awaken until your body has grown to the appropriate size."_

_Her frown deepened as she recalled that the passage of time was much more impactful for those who lacked the gift of eternal youth. "I cannot say when you may finish your first cycle, either. It may be nearing its end as we speak, or it may even take another ten years. None can say."_

_Spike clutched at his hair, worry dotting his face as he started to hyperventilate._

"_I-I can't be in here for that long! I have to see Twilight, a-and Rarity! I need to see my friends!"_

_Luna's mood soured at the mention of the woman who held the young boy's heart even in the midst of his dreams, but she perked back up as she recalled something that could help him out of his funk._

"_If it's any consolation to you, my young one, you may know that Twilight asks after you often."_

_Spike's shaking slowed, his green eyes seeking out the Princess. "R-really? How often does she come to visit?"_

_The moon goddess's head scrunched up, trying to remember the last time the lavender-haired girl came to Canterlot castle._

"_Well, she hasn't come to visit you per_ say_, not since you entered hibernation, but by the tone of her letters, she cares a great deal about you."_

Spike stirred from sleep with another body in his clenches, noticeably the second time in a row. He looked down to find Twilight pressed into him, his own arms wrapped around her waist. His now-limp member had retreated from her ass, and even now she murmured his name lovingly as she ground softly against his body.

_Yep, I'm bored._

He got up from the bed carefully, collected his robe from one of his bags, and went downstairs to prepare for the day.

The green-haired boy trudged down the stairs lazily, his robe tied hastily around his hips as he prepared a cup of hot chocolate for himself. He heard a _ding _at the front door, shuffling over with half-lidded eyes.

He opened the door, cringing at the sunlight that immediately assaulted his eyes.

_By Celestia's nipples, that's bright._

He glanced up at the mail woman, a blonde-haired, wall-eyed beauty with a joyful expression on her face.

"Since when does Ms. Sparkle have a boyfriend? You're so _cute!_" She squealed, one eye staring Spike clear in the face while another journeyed downward.

"It's Spike, Derpy." He rubbed his eye as he continued to squint into the daylight. "And you don't bring mail to the door, you bring it to the mailbox."

Derpy smiled in spite of his comment. "Oh, I know! It's just that sometimes Ms. Sparkle gets lonely all cooped up in her house, so I like to say hello!"

Spike shrugged lethargically as Derpy handed him the mail. "That's sweet, or something."

He noticed the mail woman still standing in his doorway, smiling blankly at him.

"So…can I help you?" He tried, feeling incredibly awkward standing in the doorway with an older woman blatantly staring at him in his fairly-revealing robe.

"Yep!" she chirped, closing the distance between them as she darted forward and grabbed Spike by the legs, shoving her head inside his robes as her lips sought out his member.

He looked down in confusion as he stared at the odd woman giving him head.

Spike took a sip of his hot chocolate. "…what?"

Derpy babbled from inside his robe, her words muffled as they usually are when you have a dick in your mouth.

_Hnnnnnnnnnnnng._

"I can't hear you, Derpy. You kind of have my dick in your mouth."

She stopped her motions, her head leaving the folds of his robes. "What I was saying was, you _are _helping me because you look really cute in your robe and I haven't had a guy in me in forever!"

Spike took another draught of hot chocolate. "Define 'forever.'"

She counted on her fingers, mouthing the words. "About fifteen years, I'd say."

Spike's eyes widened a fraction. "Wow, that's like…a Dinky."

She cocked her head in confusion. "Pardon?"

Spike motioned uselessly with his free hand. "That means you haven't had sex since you had your daughter, right?"

She nodded. "Sorry if I came on a little strong, but I really, _really _need this." She pouted cutely. "Pleeeeeeease?"

Spike sighed.

_And once more, I am called to give to the needy._

_-15 minutes later-_

Twilight ambled down the stairs nude, her hair adorably frazzled.

_Well, it's not like it's anything he hasn't seen before._

She stretched her arms, her bottom more than a little sore from last night's activities, only to freeze when she heard moaning coming from the kitchen.

Twilight crept down the stairs, peering inside from the open window when she saw the lady who usually delivered her mail, shorts wrapped around her knees as Spike slammed into her with a steady hand on her back.

"Spike, what are you—" she started to ask.

"Twilight, I don't even _know._"

_Luna cradled Spike as he wept._

"So, what was _really _bothering you last night?"

Spike looked up from his morning paper of Sudoku, peering over the breakfast he had prepared after Derpy left.

He hesitated for a moment. "Do you really want to know?"

Twilight rolled her eyes as she clutched her coffee in her small hands. "I wouldn't have asked if I didn't, Spike."

He put the morning paper down, turning fully to face her. "Alright. What do you know about my people?"

Twilight blinked at the sudden shift in conversation. "Your people? Not much, as you know."

He sighed. "Let me be more specific; what do you know about our hibernation?"

Twilight _ah_'ed as she realized where the conversation was going. "Well, I know that it happens spontaneously, starting at adolescence."

Spike nodded. "Right, although it usually happens after the thirteenth birthday, due to the common surge in hormones and over-consumption of food that comes with becoming a teenager."

He shifted again to face her. "Do you also remember the day that I went off to Canterlot to be tutored by Princess Luna?"

Twilight nodded again, her face somewhat bitter at the memory. "Yeah, me and the girls were gone the entire day for a Wonderbolts derby," Spike grimaced at this, "and when we got back, Pinkie Pie threw us a party."

She frowned as she recalled more. "But when I got home, you had made up your mind to accept Princess Luna's offer and become her student. It seemed like a pretty brash decision."

_It was._ Spike sighed, looking Twilight in the eyes. "Twilight, _that _was my thirteenth birthday."

Twilight's eyes bugged out of her skull as she realized just how badly she screwed up.

"Oh my gosh, Spike, I'm _so _sorry that I forgot about that, I—"

"It's fine," he said, cutting her off with a wave of his hand. He snorted, a pained smile on his face. "I just had a hard time figuring out how _Pinkie Pie _of all people forgot too."

_Pinkie Pie skipped happily into Sugarcube Corner, not at all tired from her recent trip to Cloudsdale for the Wonderbolts derby._

_She 'ooh' and 'ahh'ed at the spectacular display of balloons and streamers, cake and confections alike as she beheld a party waiting to happen, all beneath her nose!_

_Pinkie bounced into the kitchen, startling Mrs. Cake as she was teaching Pound Cake how to bake._

"_Oooh, Mrs. Cake, who set-up that wonderful party out there?" she chirped._

_Mrs. Cake stared blankly at Pinkie, before stating, "You did, dear. You said it was for one of your friends, but then that rainbow-haired girl came by and told you that your friends were all heading to a derby of some sort. Don't you remember?"_

_Pinkie Pie shook her head rapidly. "Nope!" She giggled as she bounced back out the door._

"_That's no reason to let a perfectly good party go to waste, though!"_

Twilight shrugged her shoulders as easily she did Spike's question. "I don't know, Spike, she's usually the one who remembers _every _birthday, for every person."

_Makes being forgotten that much worse, heh._

Twilight reached a hand across the table, clenching Spike's in hers. "That's pretty bad, I admit, but that's no reason to leave to go to Canterlot, is it?"

Spike pulled his hand back, to her dismay. "That's not the _problem, _Twilight."

She frowned. "Then please, tell me, what was so bad that you had to move away?"

He growled. "I fell asleep, Twilight."

She rolled her eyes. "I know, you said that already. Four years is a long time, but it's hardly a lifetime, Spike."

Spike's eyes glowed dangerously as he snorted smoke. "_I. Fell. __**Asleep.**_"

She flinched at his tone as he got up from the table. "In case you didn't know, hibernation can last from anywhere from a month to a decade, depending on the person. Those four years I spent away? Felt like _hours._"

Twilight cringed back into her seat as he moved closer to her.

"I could have been gone for far longer than I was. What if I woke up and you had kids? Or Rarity? What if something terrible happened and I wasn't there to protect you?"

She started to stammer, "B-but I can protect mys—"

"_That's not the __**point!**__" _He roared, his eyes starting to glisten.

"Ever since we came here," he choked, "we've been drifting apart, and I've been trying to stop it, I really have!" He tried to gather himself, but she could tell by the look on his face that he was crumbling. "And since I came back to Ponyville, and we did what we did last night, I thought maybe I could fix it!"

He was sobbing pathetically now, and it was all Twilight could do to not scoop him up in her arms and reassure him. But still, he continued.

"But you girls? You just have sex on the mind when you look at me, and I immediately thought that that was at _least_ a step-up from being ignored. But here I am, the morning after I share myself with you, and you tell me you can't even _remember _how you weren't there for me?"

Twilight was on the edge of tears herself, shaking violently as she stretched a hand out to grasp his. "Spike, I—"

Once again, he snatched his hand away. "Don't touch me," he snarled.

She grabbed him in a hug anyway.

_Luna tried not to enjoy the closeness that the young boy's embrace brought, but rarely had she had contact with another human being, and sisterly affection accounted for little._

_The fact that she had ingrained in him a great deal of knowledge, historical, magical, and—she nearly purred in delight—physical, in the matter of hours granted her reason to hold the young man._

_It also helped that no one was around to watch._

"_There, there, young one," she cooed, feeling slightly guilty as she placed the squirming young man in her open lap, "all will be better."_

_After all, a woman needs her affection, ill-gotten or otherwise._

Another day, another detention.

Apple Bloom stretched, still sore from her little scrap with Diamond Tiara earlier in the day.

_But by Celestia's beard, it was worth it._

While she lacked any real bruises, as did her combatant, Cheerilee had nevertheless given the both of them detention together, so that they may "sweep it under the rug," or something like that. To be honest, she wasn't really paying that much attention anyway.

Not when it was all an act.

With Applejack at the stalls for the rest of the afternoon, and Granny Smith in Appleloosa to visit family, that left Big Macintosh _all_ alone down at the farm.

"_Way Ah figure, you're due for a favor or two," Apple Bloom winked at Cheerilee as she told the teacher her plan earlier that day._

When she knew the teacher had been on board, she stuffed her house key into a hollow apple during lunch, and slipped it to her right before detention, as an 'apology' for causing so much trouble.

Apple Bloom had to laugh inwardly as Cheerilee scuttled out the door, got into her car, and drove in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres.

_Ha! I wonder if Ah could major in corruption!_ She kicked her feet up on her desk, a crooked smile making its way onto her face.

"Where did Miss Cheerilee go? Who's going to watch us?" Diamond Tiara looked around, confusion in her voice.

She noticed the blinds were closed.

"No one. No one at all."

The hairs on the back of Diamond Tiara's neck stood up as she looked over to see Apple Bloom staring at her, eyes lidded and thin lips smirking.

Diamond Tiara's eyes widened as she leaned back, suddenly wary. "Y-you did this, didn't you? You did something to make Miss Cheerilee leave so you could beat me up!"

Apple Bloom shook her head, that stupid grin still on her face.

A blush crossed her face, as the prissy young woman scrambled from her desk and headed for the door. "Fine, but I'm not about to stay in the same room as you, Apple Bumpkin!"

A small but strong hand on her shoulder stopped her in her tracks, pulling her backwards until Diamond Tiara was leaning down next to Apple Bloom's face.

"See, here's the thing, DT."

"Don't call me that." She snarled.

"We've been fightin' since we was little girls, and we're sensible young ladies now." Apple Bloom's powerful amber eyes gleamed in the afternoon sun, refusing to let Diamond Tiara look anywhere else.

"Thing is, I'm a mite tired of it, y'see?" Apple Bloom got up from her seat, hand still planted firmly on Diamond Tiara's shoulder, and pushed the weaker girl onto Cheerilee's empty desk.

"W-what are you—" the surprised girl started to say.

"And I'm willin' to try some," Apple Bloom licked her lips in anticipation as her voice dropped an octave, "_diplomacy_."

The white and purple-haired girl's eyes widened impossibly as the young farmer drew her into a deep kiss, pressing down on her and grasping at the hem of her skirt.

Diamond Tiara's face was flushed as Apple Bloom pulled away to gather her breath, unable to speak out of pure shock.

"Way Ah see it," Apple Bloom panted, "life's too short ta waste on petty squabbles, y'see?"

"Yes," she immediately agreed.

"And we're two pretty young things perfectly capable of gettin' along, right?"

"Perfectly capable, yeah." Her chest was heaving as Apple Bloom brushed the red locks out of her face. _By Celestia's nipples, that's sexy._

"So what kinda depraved young women would we be if we didn't give peace a try?"

Diamond Tiara shook her head furiously, her hair spreading across the desk in a way that only made Apple Bloom want her more.

"Monsters, absolute monsters, Apple Bloom." She yelped as she felt the hand on her shoulder yank down the corner of her dress.

"Ah'm glad you see it my way," she drawled, before moving up to nibble on the other girl's neck.

Diamond Tiara's legs immediately clenched around Apple Bloom's waist, pulling her in closer as she brushed her fingers through the farmer's thick red hair, yanking off her hairband.

Apple Bloom started. "Hey, what did Ah _just _get through sayin'?"

Diamond Tiara giggled. "Sorry AB," the redhead's eyes narrowed at her hypocrisy, "but if we're about to do this, then you're too pretty to wear your hair up."

Apple Bloom blinked, before blushing deeply. "All ya had to do was say so," she muttered.

Diamond Tiara smirked from underneath her as she stared up at the stronger girl. "I always thought you were naturally pretty, you know." She winced. "It made me kind of jealous, actually, how I had to work for it."

Apple Bloom purred as she slipped off the other corner of her new friend's dress. "That's mighty nice of you, hun." She planted another hard kiss on her lips. "But you never had to work for it."

Their heartbeats thudded together as Apple Bloom's hand traced down Diamond Tiara's thigh, breaths withheld and moans prepared as her digits traced the outline of her panties, before traveling underneath to caress—

"Well hey guys, what's going on in h—_By Celestia's nipples!_"

The two girls looked over in a panic to the stranger in the doorway.

"Spike?" Apple Bloom screeched in surprise.

"Apple Bloom?" He screeched back.

"…Diamond Tiara?" The neglected girl on the desk exclaimed.

"What are you doing here? I was supposed to have the schoolhouse to myself for the afternoon!" Apple Bloom looked immensely embarrassed, almost literally being caught with her pants down.

Spike coughed into his hand, trying not to look too obviously at the girl with her skirt raised and legs dangling in the air.

"W-well, I came by to talk to Cheerilee about my longstanding childhood issues, but I see she's not here at the moment."

"Gee, you think?" Diamond Tiara sneered from the desk.

Apple Bloom flicked her between her legs. "Be nice," she ordered.

"So, uh," Spike began as he stepped closer into the room, "what exactly were you guys up to? I had the impression that you two hated each other's guts."

An idea sprung into Apple Bloom's mind. _Ah bet I could kill two birds with one stone right now._

"You know how girls go behind each other's backs all the time and spread rumors 'bout each other?" Diamond Tiara turned to face her, hurt etched across her face.

"Yeah…?" Spike replied cautiously.

Apple Bloom grabbed him by the collar, growling as she brought him close to her face.

"That has absolutely _nuthin' _ta do with this."

Spike wanted to slap himself in the face at being duped so easily. "What do you want?"

She smiled at his compliance. "Easy, just come at me from behind while Ah have my way with DT. Sound good?"

Spike frowned. "I dunno, Apple Bloom. I've had sex like, eight times in the past few days, and I'm kind of sore right now."

Apple Bloom snapped her fingers in despair. "Well, _shoot_! I guess I'll just haveta get Big Macintosh drunk and fuck ya til you're blind!"

Spike had begun eating her out before her belt hit the floor.

_Luna had no choice; the boy grew stronger and wiser by the hour, and she only had a matter of time before he would become difficult to handle. She grabbed him with her magic and tossed him backwards._

"_Hey Luna, what are we gonna do on the bed?"_

Rainbow Dash looked at her wristwatch, tapping her foot impatiently.

_I got off work fifteen minutes ago, where the heck is he?_

She decided to head into town in hopes of finding her lost conquest.

Rainbow Dash strutted through the market, her hands in her pockets and a scowl on her face.

"What's got your britches in a twist, sugarcube?" called a familiar southern drawl.

Dash repressed the instinctive urge to punch Applejack in the throat at the sound of her voice, as was her usual inclination. She settled for a sigh instead.

"Hey Applejack, I'm just looking for my 5 o'clock lay. You?" She turned to face her friend.

Applejack smiled as she piled the last of her supplies onto her cart. "Just packin' up here so Ah can go pick up Apple Bloom from detention." She paused for a moment. "Wait, what?"

Rainbow Dash smirked at her friend's confusion. "As soon as I find _Spikey Wikey_, you're gonna owe me big time. Eight big times, actually."

Applejack blinked as she processed Rainbow's statement.

Then sucker-punched her in the face.

"Not if Ah get to 'em first!" she shouted as she ran in the direction of the schoolhouse.

Dash rubbed her face, growling at the surprise attack. "Shows what _you _know, Applehick! The library's in the opposite direction!"

Applejack yelled, not slowing down, "It's a good thing Ah saw him headin' up to the schoolhouse, then!"

Dash's eyes widened. "Clever _dick!_"

_Luna pressed down on the bed, her royal dress discarded along with most of her royal attire._

"_You may not be able to see your body at the moment, young Spike, but the truth of the matter is that you have matured very, _very _well. So well, in fact, that I'm afraid that you will quite literally have to beat the young ladies away."_

_Spike used every scrap of mental strength he had to suppress the arousal he felt at the goddess advancing on him. "W-what's the point of this exercise?"_

_Luna traced her finger along Spike's chest, cupping his cheek with her other hand._

"_It is simple; resist me, and you will undoubtedly be able to resist any woman who wishes to manipulate you for her own selfish ends."_

_She inwardly begged for him to fail._

Spike panted as he leaned into Apple Bloom, her firm bottom almost suctioned to his crotch. He pulled on Diamond Tiara's legs for support as he drew back and slammed into the farmer again. Doing so, he caused the white-haired girl's hips to shift even closer against Apple Bloom's mouth.

Apple Bloom moaned into Diamond Tiara's thighs, looking back momentarily to gaze upon the gorgeous young man who continued to fill her up.

"How ya likin' it back there, Spike?" she moaned as she rocked back and forth from the motions, only to have her head shoved back down by an impatient Diamond Tiara.

Spike gasped as her tight, hot entrance continued to clamp down around him.

"Your body is really, _really _firm, Apple Bloom. I could do this all day…!"

_It's amazing how this doesn't get old, huh? _ He grinned as another quip came to mind. "In fact, it's almost as tight as your sisters'."

He moaned heavily as Apple Bloom squirmed beneath him indignantly; Diamond Tiara gasped as well when she felt the vibrations of the red-haired beauty shouting angrily into her womanhood.

"Quick, insult her more!" urged the girl with her legs wrapped around Apple Bloom's head.

"Apples are dumb!" Spike yelled as he was forced to grip Apple Bloom's hips even harder, noting how she tried in vain to dislodge him from her hindquarters so she could kick him in his gut.

Diamond Tiara laughed hysterically, nearly choking on her own spit as she reached an orgasm.

"A-Apple Bloom, I'm _arriving!_" She clenched her lover's head between her legs, small, intense tremors wracking her body. She felt the intense heat welling up within her stomach, before it rocketed down, dribbling across Apple Bloom's face.

The spoiled young girl chuckled deeply as she released Apple Bloom from her vice grip, drawing her legs up onto the table and spreading them. "By Celestia's nipples, that was _heavenly._"

She looked up to Spike, licking her lips as she saw his impressive length. "Hurry up, Spike, was it?" She moved a finger down to casually pleasure herself. "I want to try you."

_Channel Celestia_, Spike reminded himself. "Your time is coming, trust me."

Her eyes lidded as a lazy grin crossed her face. "You're a trooper, I'll give you that."

Apple Bloom ground into Spike's hips, moaning as she neared her orgasm. "Harder!" she begged, "I'm almost there!"

Spike complied, grabbing her ample breasts and withdrawing his full length, preparing to begin his assault on her ass once again.

"Well howdy y'all, what's goin' on in—_SWEET SASSY MOLASSY, WHAT'RE Y'ALL DOIN?"_

All three stumbled to their feet immediately at the sound of the enraged farmer's voice.

Applejack marched over and grabbed Spike savagely by the hair. "You're back in town for _one day_, and I find you in here havin' your way with my sister?" Her grip tightened, her knuckles turned white, and a murderous look was in her eyes.

Spike shook in terror. "To be absolutely fair, AJ," he pointed a finger at the still-nude Apple Bloom, who struggled to don her jean shorts and yellow camisole, "it's completely her fault."

Apple Bloom stared indignantly at Spike as he deliberately threw her under the bus. "_Hey!_"

Diamond Tiara nodded earnestly in agreement. "He's absolutely right, Miss Applejack. Apple Bloom came onto me and I just couldn't resist her southern charm!"

The younger girl didn't know whether to be insulted by the betrayal or feel complimented.

Applejack's grip on Spike's hair only loosened slightly. "And you expect me to believe you over my kin _why_?"

"It's eleven inches," he whispered, only loud enough for her to hear.

Applejack immediately let him go, instead grabbing the now dressed Apple Bloom by the wrist roughly and marching towards the door. "Young lady, you'd better get ready to have your hide tanned. You'd better pray to Celestia that Mac is gonna be more forgivin' than me!"

Apple Bloom's eyes widened as she realized that Cheerilee was probably still…busy with her older brother.

_Well, fuck._

Applejack whirled and pointed at Spike, still lacking any clothing. "And you, young man, you and me are going to have _words_. Hot, angry, passionate _words._"

As soon as the two farmers stalked out of the room, both Spike and Diamond Tiara sighed heavily.

"That was close, huh?" quipped the young girl, getting back on the desk in hopes of continuing their session.

"Sure was," Spike agreed, twirling a strange piece of red clothing in his hand. " I managed to snatch her thong, though."

The two of them laughed heartily at their friend's expense, only to be scared pissless when a familiar head of rainbow-colored hair jutted from beneath Cheerilee's desk.

"Rainbow Dash, how in Celestia's name did you get under there?" Spike clutched his heart in surprise.

Dash decided to ignore his question, instead closing the open door behind them, cracking her knuckles. "You know, I thought that I'd be angrier, what with how you totally stood me up and instead decided to bone Applejack's little sister and what's-her-face here."

She smiled genuinely, a tear coming down her cheek in joy. "But this right here? I'm about to be repaid in _spades_."

Dash's hands clenched the two teenager's heads tightly, bringing them down to her waist level.

"Now, _undress me_."

They obliged.


	5. The One Who Races With Your Heart Part 1

_Luna moaned as the young boy's hands moved across her back, rubbing her shoulders and rubbing out the kinks in her back._

"_Where did you learn to use your hands so well?" The fact that she was using the modern language more and more around him did not go unnoticed._

_Spike shrugged, before realizing that she wouldn't be able to see him while he rested on her waist._

"_Twilight usually comes home sore when she's out doing work for Princess Celestia, so when we would go to the spa, I'd try and pick up a few things from the workers." He grinned innocently as the moon princess writhed beneath him. "Am I doing well?"_

_She nodded her head rapidly in confirmation._

"_Please Spike, go _lower,_" she begged._

_He complied._

"_Lower," she urged._

_He complied again._

"_A little bit lower," she said, purring._

_He moved his hands further down the Princess's body, until he reached—_

"_Oooh, if we were living south of the border right now, you'd have to marry me," she moaned._

_Spike laughed in contentment while Luna hummed, pleased at how her young apprentice seemed to be doing as much good for her as she him._

Oh, who am I kidding, _she thought to herself. _I've been selfish, keeping him to myself like this.

_Luna moaned once again as Spike reached a particularly troubled nerve._

Then again, _she pondered, _what is a princess without her vices?

Spike coughed as Rainbow Dash looked down at him, infuriated.

"Well?!" she snapped.

"I guess it's because I've done it like ten times so far recently?" He shrugged nervously as his manhood refused to rise again after getting acquainted with Apple Bloom southern orchards.

"It happens to the best of us," he squeaked.

Rainbow Dash grabbed him by the hair, visibly trying to control her anger. "I've been waiting literally _all day _for this dicking, and you're telling me you can't get it up because of all the sex you've been having?"

Spike winced as he dangled from the shorter woman's grasp. "To be fair, I've orgasmed like, what, eight times lately? I think number six was technically your fault," he pointed out.

Rainbow Dash pulled back her fist in anger.

"Wait wait wait!" His eyes widened at her ferocity. "That _totally _came out wrong, I'm sorry."

"Duh," commented Diamond Tiara, still resting on the desk.

"Can it, twerp." Rainbow Dash flicked the younger girl on her nub, causing the white-haired girl to convulse into a sudden orgasm.

"GAH!" Diamond Tiara twitched in her back as another tiring wave of pleasure rolled through her thighs, the heat in her stomach abruptly rising. "Curse my hair trigger!"

Dash turned back to the young man still in her grasp. "So? What do you have to say for yourself, spaghetti-dick?"

Thinking quickly, Spike came up with a proposition that would satisfy the apparently-homicidal nymphomaniac that was Rainbow Dash.

"I-if you let me rest for a bit, I'll be ready to go, I promise." Another idea struck him. "In fact, since you've been waiting so long, I'll take you out on the town tonight. Just you and me."

Rainbow Dash stared Spike in the eyes, long enough to make him think that she wouldn't accept his offer.

"Alright then, you've got a deal." she said, a smirk on her face. "Go home and rest up. "I'm going to keep you up all night."

Spike thanked Celestia that he was still alive.

"_So, Luna, how much longer do you think it'll take before I'm out of hibernation?" Spike asked, his hands still roaming the cooing Princess's back._

_Luna's eyes shot open. "Crap crap crap crap crap!" She leapt off of the bed and vanished magically, leaving the young boy looking confused._

_Moments later, the moon princess reappeared, looking slightly guilty._

"_Now before you get mad, just hear me out, my friend. You're _amazing _with your hands, and I haven't been touched in a very, very long time—"_

_Spike felt dread creeping up his spine at Luna's hesitance. "How long has it been, Luna?"_

_She was silent for a moment. Then, "I _may_ have accidentally let you sleep a few extra…months. Eighteen, in fact."_

_Spike's eyes shot wide open._

Spike whistled as he hopped out of the shower, drying himself off and wrapping a towel around his waist. He glanced around, looking for the outfit he had left out for himself.

He groaned. "Twilight, this isn't funny."

The bookish girl called from downstairs, "Sorry Spike, but if you want your clothes back, you'll have to come and get them!"

"I don't have time for this, woman!" He called back.

"Deal with it!" She yelled.

Groaning, he ambled down the stairs, a few choice words already making reservations on the tip of his tongue. "Twilight, I'm going to be la—" He froze as he saw who was in her company.

"My my _my_, you certainly didn't lie about his _physique_, Twilight," purred Rarity, her eyes raking over Spike's chest and legs. He'd have covered himself up if he wasn't used to it by now.

"Is that really _Spike_?" squeaked a familiar high-pitched voice. "Is he going to be here for the sleepover too?"

_Not another one_. He looked over and saw Sweetie Belle gaping at him from her seat.

"Hey, Sweetie." He inwardly rolled his eyes as he saw her blushing violently. "And no, I don't trust Twilight or your sister to keep their hands to themselves." _Or you, for that matter._

Twilight pouted indignantly. "I'm perfectly capable of self-control!"

"_Camus_," he replied, instantly winning the argument.

"Rarity!" Sweetie Belle hissed to her sister from across the room. "Keep it in your pants, I think I _want _him!"

Spike facepalmed, while Rarity calmly sipped her tea. "Everyone does, dearest."

"Twilight," Spike growled impatiently, "where are my clothes? I'm going to be late, and I don't want Rainbow Dash any more pissed off than usual at me!"

"You're going out with _Rainbow Dash?!_"

Spike looked around, searching for the _other _familiar voice that unnerved him. He looked down. "What the hell—"

"Can I come too?" Scootaloo was crouched between his legs, looking up eagerly.

"Wha—_no!_" He scrambled from over her, wrapping his towel protectively around his legs. "What happened to everyone? When did you all become such perverts?"

"I'm not a pervert!" chirped Sweetie Belle

Spike narrowed his eyes at her. "Then _why_ exactly are you holding my pants?"

She slowly rolled them up, before sitting down on them. "I have no idea what you're talking about, Spikey-Wikey."

"Hey!" Rarity snapped out of her ladylike demeanor. "That's _our _thing, you unoriginal harlot!"

"Well, it's not like he'd want _your _ragged old hide anyway!" Sweetie Belle barked back.

Twilight had to magically restrain the two from clawing each other's eyes out.

Spike had had enough. "If I don't get my clothes back _right now_, none of you are going to get _any sex_ for as long as I'm staying here!"

A chorus of gasps. Twilight choked, "You _wouldn't!_"

Spike snorted. "To save myself from Rainbow Dash? You bet I would."

In seconds, his clothes were piled at his feet, folded.

"Freaking loons," he muttered, walking back up to the loft.

He heard Sweetie Belle ask Rarity, "What's a sex?"

"_Eighteen months?!" screeched Spike, clutching his hair in panic. "That's a year and a half! How could you let me miss that much time?"_

_Luna could only grin sheepishly. "Everyone makes mistakes?"_

_Spike groaned in frustration._

"_If it's any consolation, Spike, I'm more than willing to make it up to you." She licked her lips unconsciously. "Over and over—"_

"_Not now, Luna!" he growled._

"_Okay!" the once-proud princess squeaked._

"_Ugh," he moaned, "as soon as I get out of here, I'm going drinking."_

In silence, the green-haired young man donned his black jeans and purple dress shirt, making sure to button up all the way so as to attract as little attention as possible.

He turned to face the mirror, examining himself to make sure he looked alright.

_Wait, didn't I just button my shirt up?_

Confused, he rebuttoned his shirt, only to find that his pants were sliding down his waist.

"You're late."

Spike looked over to see Rainbow Dash sitting on the windowsill, absentmindedly twirling his belt by the metal loop.

"How—" he started to say.

"I think we've already established that I'm fast, Spike." For once, the usually boisterous young woman appeared serious, her gaze penetrating.

"Oh really now?" Spike raised an eyebrow. "You're stealthy, I'll give you that, but how fast are you, really?"

"Count to ten," she ordered.

Starting his count, Spike gawked as Rainbow Dash dove headfirst through the doorway.

He was shocked when he found that he didn't hear her land, or her footsteps as she ran back up the stairs mere seconds later, before he even reached ten.

"Bam," she said, holding up a pair of light purple panties in Spike's face, "courtesy of Sweetie Belle."

Spike's eyes widened. "You didn't."

A sexy smirk crossed her face. "She'll notice in a couple of minutes, give or take. Skirts make it easy, though."

Spike sputtered. "But she's _sixteen!_"

Rainbow Dash shrugged. "Which happens to be the age of consent around these parts. I fail to see the consequences of my actions."

"Wouldn't be the first time," he muttered.

"Now let's get going, spoilsport. Every second we spend sitting around here talking is a valuable second that we're not getting fucked up." She grabbed him by the waist and walked toward the window.

"Dash, the door—" he started to say.

"Doors are for poor people." She slipped her hand in his back pocket—along with Sweetie Belle's panties—before jumping out of the window, with a screaming Spike in tow.

"_You maniac! You're going to get us killed!_" he screeched, his voice an octave higher than usual.

Dash laughed manically as she held him bridal-style, sliding down a branch smoothly before falling off, onto her waiting motorcycle.

"Man, I _always _wanted to do that!" she chuckled, setting the shocked boy down behind her. Dash pulled her rainbow streaked helmet on, passing a similar-looking one back to Spike.

"Hold on," she called back to him. "And feel free to grope me!"

"_I just might!_" snarled the still-rattled young man, slipping his hands inside of Dash's fairly tight jeans to give her a wedgie.

_She's not wearing underwear. Why am I not surprised?_

Dash let out a whoop when she felt his hands grasping her bottom. "Yeah, _that's _the way to do it!" She revved the engine, speeding off to their destination.

_Spike sighed as another frustrated young woman huffed and puffed her way away from him._

_For Celestia's sake, tell them a dress looks good on them and they think they're already in your pants.__He growled to himself as he spotted the same powder blue-haired vixen from earlier eying him over her Manhattan._

_He slid out of his stool at the bar and made his way to a secluded corner of the restaurant, shooting a mild glare at anyone who tried to follow._

_He considered his appearance._

_Tan skin, green hair, and well in shape.__A snort._Not exactly unappealing, but I _have_ been getting more looks than on a usual Friday night.

_Just as he sat down in his selected booth—__thump__—he felt the impact of another body drop onto the worn leather. He rolled his eyes as he turned to the newcomer._

_A curious leg rubbed his underneath the table as a lovely face with pale green hair greeted him above._

_"Hey there, cutie!"_Ugh, her voice is like caramelized glass._"I saw you sitting over here all by your lonesome, and figured you could use some company!"_

_Spike's eyes widened as her foot, very much unwelcome, made its way up to his thigh before he grasped it firmly in one hand. She giggled innocently as she tried to fix him with a sultry gaze._

_He lowered his voice to an angry mutter, so that only she could hear his next words._

_"Listen here, because I'm not going to repeat myself."_

"What's this place? And why did we take your motorcycle to a place that's literally _right across_ from the library?"

Rainbow Dash looked over at the curious young man, incredulously.

"_This_ is a _bar_," she said, mockingly, "and because motorcycles. Close your mouth, you'll catch flies."

Spike huffed as he crossed his arms. "I knew _that_, I've just never been on this side of town before."

Dash rolled her eyes as she took him by the hand and led them to a couple of barstools near the front. "Just pipe down and try not to act like such a virgin, alright?" She pulled his stool closer to hers abruptly as she motioned to the bartender for a drink. "You already look like a whore's wet dream."

Spike was unsure how to respond. "Thanks, I guess?" Then, "Is something wrong, Rainbow? You've been kind of agitated all day."

Dash stared flatly at him. "I haven't had sex in a _week_, Spike. Seven days. That's like, almost a year for dogs."

"Unusual for you, but I fail to see how that's relevant."

Dash growled lowly. "I've been on my cycle, dumbass."

Spike's eyes widened. "Oh. Eww?"

Rainbow Dash's narrowed in anger. "One more snide comment and you're gonna find yourself on the business end of my Rainbowner."

Spike blinked. "Your…what?"

"My twelve inch silicone lover. You two would make great friends, since he _also_ got acquainted with Twilight's ass not too long ago."

_What is it with me and threats of getting sodomized? _ "Uh, sorry?" _What would Fancy Pants say right now? _"I'll, uh, let you make it up to me later?"

Rainbow Dash wasn't buying it. "Shit kid, you don't just _put it out there _like that, you gotta give me something to work for."

Spike scoffed at her. "Oh really, now? I was under the impression that you'd drag me into a nearby alley and have your way with me."

Dash took a swig of her beer and smirked at him. "A girl can only take so much, don't tempt me."

They stared at each other blankly for a couple of seconds, before making for the door.

"Only a quickie," he said.

"Only a quickie," she agreed.

"And so the gentlemanly stork tells his client, "I daresay, I _do _believe that I shall never try scat again! So he gets a mop to clean up the filth that is absolutely _gushing _from—"

Rarity's story only grew more bizarre, to the horror of both Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, and the sick amusement of Twilight.

"And so, to pay for his overwhelming gambling and alcohol addictions, the gentlemanly stork leaves the red light district for good, and instead makes a respectable living delivering offspring from local brothels. And _that_, my dears, is where babies come from."

Rarity got up, collecting the silverware from the paralyzed young girls, before joining Twilight in the kitchen to 'chat' while doing the dishes.

"My goodness, I had always feared that that conversation would have been terribly awkward, but a little embellishment makes all the difference!" she exclaimed.

Twilight shook her head, a wry grin on her face.

"Rarity, you're the worst kind of role model."

Rarity chuckled good-naturedly at her friend's jab.

"Twilight, my dear, I never exactly aspired to be a _good _one."

They both laughed sadistically as they heard Scootaloo run outside to puke.

Moments later, they found themselves in a fairly secluded alley, devoid of life and dark enough to hide their activities.

"How do you want it?" Spike asked, shrugging his shirt off.

"As rough as you can give it," she replied, taking off her leather jacket, revealing her wife-beater and dog tags.

Spike immediately stiffened, noticing that she wasn't wearing a bra.

"I don't usually say this to women, but you've got amazing abs." He murmured.

Dash snorted, saying "So what you're _saying _is, you usually say that to men instead?"

She snickered as she saw Spike's frustrated reaction. "Good, get mad. Angry sex is the fucking _best._" She leant against the brick wall of the alley, resting her head against her arms.

"Well? Do I have to slap some bacon on my ass or what?"

Spike rolled his eyes as he pulled Dash's pants down, nipping her on the ass slightly as he did.

"Would it kill you to try some foreplay for once? Geez."

Dash chuckled, her voice gaining a huskier tone than usual. "I swear, Spike, you were meant to be born with a vagina."

She gasped when she felt him lining his erection up against her, before pushing into her roughly, his hands seeking out her breasts through her shirt.

He laughed at her reactions, twisting her already hard nipples teasingly. "Man, is it cold out here or what?"

Unfortunately for him, Rainbow Dash wasn't so far gone yet that she would neglect to elbow him in the stomach. "Less talking, more ravaging," she commanded.

In response, Spike grasped at her hair, pulling it back in order to push deeper into her.

"Mmm!" She leaned further against him, her small, lithe body absorbing his thrusts like a coiled spring. "Harder! Make it hurt!"

He complied, dislodging himself before pushing her stomach-first against the wall, pumping into her while she was inches off of the ground.

"MMM!" Dash's breasts ground against the brick wall in an obscenely arousing way, her legs stiff as cardboard while her hips nudged her higher and higher.

He slammed into her, harder and harder, reveling in her moans as he cradled her masterfully crafted body. The firm cheeks of her ass flushed pink as he rubbed against them with every stroke.

Pulling out, Spike aimed his slick erection higher, and pushed against the firm resistance of Dash's ass, lately noticing the cloud-and-lightning tattoo on both sides.

"AH!" She screeched, surprised at the sudden entrance. She nearly started to convulse when he slipped two fingers inside of her pussy, twitching rhythmically while he pulled on her hair with his teeth. His free hand grabbed her right leg, pulling it up to his hip to drive as far into her as he could.

Her moans almost sounded frantic as he worked her, moving savagely in and out of her ass as he took immense pleasure in making the dominating woman squirm beneath him.

His fingers pinched the clit near her opening, pulling a heaving scream from her lips. Spike marveled at how flexible she was, as Dash voluntarily moved her foot up to his neck, doing a partial split while still pressed face-first against the wall. He pressed even further into her heat, groaning as she enveloped his manhood like a vise grip wrapped in satin.

The crude slapping sounds of skin-on-skin and Dash's increasingly desperate moans were getting to him, drawing Spike into what was sure to be a momentous orgasm.

Releasing Dash's hair from his mouth, he moved his fingers from her crotch up into her mouth, making her suck his fingers to taste herself. He then grasped her by the neck and pulled her into a rough kiss, pushing into her one last time before hot spurts of seed filled her ass. He angled himself so that her folds would be rubbing against the brick wall, slowly moving her up and down, bringing Dash into a screaming orgasm muffled by their kiss. Her fluids rolled down the wall as her legs went limp, and the ferocious athlete rested against the stomach of the younger man, before they both fell down onto the cobblestone alley with a _thud_.

Dash laughed tiredly as she straddled the boy beneath her, pants rolled down and nipples still poking against her shirt. "Celestia's golden vibrator, I haven't been fucked like _that _since middle school." She moved her mouth down to lick at his abs.

Spike panted, still caught up in the throes of pleasure thanks to his enthusiastic partner. "I'm going to do us both a favor and not go into how _wrong _that sounds."

He paused as he heard a second set of breaths panting heavily. "What's wrong, Dash? I thought a quickie wouldn't be a problem for you?"

She looked up through the mess of her hair, magenta eyes confused. "It wasn't."

They looked toward the entrance of the alley, only to find a familiar purple-haired, tan-skinned girl staring back at them with impossibly wide eyes, chest heaving with panic.

"That," Scootaloo said between breaths, "was _amazing_."


	6. The One Who Races With Your Heart Part 2

_The ever-watchful gaze of the sun goddess spanned across Canterlot, penetrating yet unintruding. Her ethereal hair flowed elegantly as she beheld her beloved city, thankfully perceiving no threats._

_Celestia smiled to herself as she felt the familiar, cooling touch of her sister's mind._

"_Sister," Luna called out to her using their mental link, "join your eyes with mine, and behold a most wonderful sight!"_

_Celestia obliged her unusually giddy sister, chuckling as her vision swam to match Luna's. "Alright, Luna, what is it that holds your interest so m—_LUNA_!"_

_The moon goddess giggled mischievously while her sister gaped into the porcelain room in shock. "Yes, Tia?" She nibbled on her own finger in appreciation of the sight._

"_This is an utmost invasion of privacy! You should be ashamed of spying on your own pupil while he bathes!"_

_Luna's posture slumped as she twiddled her fingers, upset at being scolded. "So, you just want me to end it?"_

_Celestia snorted. "Heavens no! I just wanted you to know that you were in the wrong!" She turned her eyes back to the unaware boy in the shower. "My my, eleven inches?"_

"So there I am, fucking the absolute _shit _out of this succubus's mouth, when I think to myself, 'Wait a minute, Rainbow Dash, haven't you been awake for 50 hours at that marathon orgy? Isn't that when the hallucinations start?'"

Spike and Scootaloo stared wide-eyed at the prismatic woman, totally engulfed in her tale.

"And?" Scootaloo asked. "What happened next?"

Dash chuckled, milking the younger girl for all she was worth. "Turns out I was just tripping on exhaustion and endorphins. I've never even _seen _a succubus!"

The three of them laughed together from their table in the bar, the events of the past ten minutes nearly forgotten.

Rainbow Dash sighed happily as she wiped a gleeful tear from her eye. "And that's how I met Applejack."

Spike nearly choked on his drink. "You mean to tell me that you met one of your best friends by mouth-raping her at an _orgy?!_"

Dash snorted. "Pfft, no! Somehow I managed to sprint _all _the way to Sweet Apple Acres, break in through Applejack's window, and overpower her in the middle of the night."

Scootaloo's face screwed up in confusion. "Wait, isn't that illegal?"

The unabashed woman kicked her feet up on the table, taking a swig from her beer. "Seeing as how she didn't let me leave until she finished, I don't think so."

Spike was still bug-eyed, processing this new information.

"You're crazy," he finally stated. "You're a psychopathic nympho with a loose grip on reality."

Dash growled at the insult. "Rainbowner," she reminded him.

Spike said nothing, but glared at the athletic woman from across the table.

Dash looked over to the other member of their group. "Speaking of anal intrusion, how old are you, Scoots?"

_After watching the young green-haired man finish his shower, and to her great entertainment, subject Twilight Sparkle to a fair amount of well-deserved teasing, Celestia severed the vision. "So?" inquired her younger sister. "He has quite the noble heart, he is intelligent, and I can tell that his magic soon will be something to reckon with." The moon goddess was now off to her sister's side, casually stroking her chin. "I firmly believe that he is a Sparkle in all but blood. Do you not agree, dear sister?"_

Dear me,_ thought the matriarchal figure, _for Twilight's sake, I certainly hope he isn't.

"_Why do you withhold your thoughts, sister? He is quite the catch, yes?"_

_Celestia could only nod in affirmation. But inside, her stomach tumultuously churned, and her thoughts danced maddeningly._

_Like fire._

As if walking in on her little sister in the middle of a threesome wasn't scarring enough, Applejack found her day getting progressively worse when she stumbled upon Cheerilee and her older brother going at it.

After giving Mac a thorough tongue-lashing, she sent him and Apple Bloom to their respective rooms. She turned to the guilty-looking teacher, and steeled herself for the talk to come.

"Cheerilee, look, Ah know you have a long history with our family 'n all, so Ah won't kick your teeth in or nothin'."

Cheerilee winced.

"See, Ah understand that with how much work ya put inta your job, and how motherly you can get ta feelin', havin' a personal life can be nigh impossible." Applejack circled around the table, sitting down next to the magenta-haired woman on the couch.

"This just ain't the way ta do it, sugar." The buxom blonde farmer's hand rubbed the back of Cheerilee's back comfortingly, making the smaller woman feel less intimidated.

"Ah know Mac can be enticin' to gals like you, what with how he looks like a southern Atlas when the sun hits his glistening pecs just right—"

_The hell?! _ Cheerilee thought to herself.

"—but that don't mean it's right an' proper to swoop in on tha farm and jump on my brother when no one's around."

"I-I understand, Applejack," stammered the shrinking schoolteacher, subtly trying to inch away from the woman who was _far _inside her comfort zone.

"Seein' as how Ah'm such a generous soul, and how you left my sister alone so she could get her hands on her crush," Applejack's grip tightened around her shoulder, "Ah'll give you a choice: we can do this the _easy _way, or the _kinky _way."

Cheerilee blinked at the bait-and-switch response. "I'm sorry?"

Applejack's eyes narrowed. "You heard me, sugar."

She _meep_'ed, trying to think of something to say to pacify the farmer. "W-which one is faster?"

"Kinky," Came her immediate reply.

"Uh, okay?" She swallowed, resigning herself to her fate.

Applejack nodded. "These," she said, pointing to Cheerilee's chest, "and this," running her hand along her bottom, "are mine."

The poor schoolteacher nearly fainted.

"Aren't you going to jump at me too?"

To break the awkward silence that had sprung up when the prismatic-haired hellion had left to go to the bathroom—"I gotta piss like a racehorse, don't you two lovebirds run out on me,"—Spike decided to address the elephant in the room.

Scootaloo raised her eyes as she sipped from her cola. "I wasn't planning on it, actually." She lazily draped her foot over his lap as she grinned. "What's the matter, stud? Got a hankerin' for your old pal Scoots?"

Spike shook his head, somewhat relieved. "No, that's not it."

She pressed on regardless. "You sure? Because I always roll with my Scootalube, just in case."

_You can't be serious. _ "Don't tell me that you'rerisking our country's future on the chance that you may or may not," he shuddered at the word, "_procreate?_"

Waving off the insult, Scootaloo clarified. "No, no, I haven't actually _done _anything yet, just that I want to be prepared. You know, in the very likely situation that someone gets the urge to scoot in my loo."

Spike resisted the urge to facepalm, muttering something about 'freaking women' under his breath.

"So what's your deal, Spike? Considering you just got to drill my _childhood hero _with your Scootatube—"

"I swear to _Celestia_—"

"—your night so far should be going pretty well," she finished, not missing a beat.

Spike grumbled, before deciding that the small purple-haired girl, while annoying, was better company than nothing. Or worse, he inwardly winced, one of those harpies that kept eyeing him from across the bar. Several of them had stark white hair, with fierce makeup around their eyes.

They reeked of trouble.

He turned his attention back to the girl sharing his booth. "Listen, Scootaloo, can I tell you something, and you not say anything stupid?"

"I make no promises," she said solemnly, holding a hand to her chest.

He sighed, running a hand through his stiff green hair as he tried to gather his words. "Back when I was a kid, in Canterlot, I—" he hesitated, trying to convey his thoughts, "I had this…_idea,_ of what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to be this strong, handsome guy who was smart and didn't treat people differently just because of what they looked like or how they thought."

The shorter girl took notice of his curved ears and longer-than-normal teeth.

"I thought that if I had stuff like that, then maybe people would like me, and, I dunno, maybe then Twilight wouldn't have a choice but to make some new friends, and we wouldn't have to be alone so much."

He smiled nostalgically as he recalled his childhood, unaware of Scootaloo scooting closer to him.

"And when we moved here, and we met all these wonderful people, I was so _happy _because Twilight wasn't alone anymore, and she was making some friends."

His smile slowly straightened. "But I…wasn't." He swirled his drink and stretched one arm onto the top of the worn leather of the seat. "Fast forward three years, and Twilight's lying to me about going on a mission for the Princess so she and her friends can go see the Wonderbolts, and Pinkie Pie herself forgets my birthday and throws one for her friends instead."

He snorted, not caring how whiney he sounded to the girl next to him. "Hell, Rarity even stopped calling me 'Spikey Wikey' after my twelfth birthday."

He sipped his Manhattan, muttering, "One good-looking customer and you're nothing but a problem. Tch."

"I don't get it," chirped Scootaloo, who had somehow managed to worm her way onto his lap without him noticing. "You're strong, you're _definitely_ not lacking in the looks department, and you've got these women practically begging you to pump them full of your Scootagoo. I mean, sure, you kinda got screwed over by your friends, but what's not working out for you?"

Spike scoffed, taking another sip of his drink. "That whole 'not judging people by how they look' thing? Doesn't apply to me, apparently."

Scootaloo's next response was interrupted by the sound of doors crashing open, followed by a familiar rainbow-haired woman flying across the bar and onto their table.

"Rainbow Dash!" Her number one fangirl immediately sprung to her feet, grabbing her moaning idol by the shoulders. "Who did this to you? What happened?!"

Spike flinched as he saw the white-haired women from earlier slowly get up and approach their table.

Along with an unfortunately familiar face.

Rainbow Dash coughed messily, wiping off a thin stream of blood onto her leather sleeves.

"Gilda _mother-fucking _Griffin happened."

"Okay, okay," choked Twilight, trying not to laugh, "I've got one: what did the English teacher say when she found that her student recorded on paper _exactly _what the teacher said, and how she said it?"

Sweetie Belle and Rarity waited in rapt attention.

"She said, 'You make me _sic!_'" The awkward librarian slapped her knee heartily as she doubled over from the hilarity of her own joke.

"Ha ha ha ha!" Rarity and Sweetie Belle laughed fakely, not really understanding—or caring about, for that matter—any of Twilight's attempts at wordplay.

"On a _completely _unrelated note, I do believe that I need to freshen up before bed, Twilight dear." Rarity made a show of stretching before she got up, angling herself towards the bathroom. "But please, don't let my absence stop you; I'm positive Sweetie Belle would be ever so grateful if you would bequeath to her some of your absolutely _darling _witticisms."

_I love you dearly, Sweetie Belle, but it's time you took one for the team._

"Oh! What should we do while you're gone, Rarity? Practice kissing like you taught me?"

_Screw _that_, skank. It'll be a cold day in Tartarus before you throw _me_ under the bus like that._

Twilight gaped as she looked at Rarity accusingly, the pale-skinned fashionista visibly twitching.

"Oh _ha ha_, Sweetie Belle, you adorable little _devil_. Always the jokester—"

But having learned well, the younger sister quickly made to undermine the elder's credibility. "Rarity has a wide-on for Celestia!"

Twilight gasped as she covered her mouth, while Rarity fumed indignantly at her treacherous little sister. "That's a lie and you know it!"

"Oh _Celestia_," mocked Sweetie Belle, doing fairly accurate impersonation of her older sister, "I come to you as but a humble suppliant begging to partake in your Royal relations!"

Sweetie Belle's hands roamed down her sides in an all-too interesting manner. "I _beg _of you, my dearest Princess, grace my lowly body with your divine caress!"

Twilight shook her head, aware of the fact that she was staring at Rarity's younger sister. "She, uh, does a good impression of you, Rarity. You sure that—"

"_Positive_," she growled.

Stomping up the steps angrily, Rarity made a mental note to cut up Sweetie Belle's dresses.

"And here I was thinking that I was down on my luck."

Gilda cracked her knuckles as she stomped towards their table, tossing aside her aviator jacket, revealing a fairly muscular build covered only a dark grey muscle shirt and a sports bra.

Spike had to remind himself not to drool over the woman that was inevitably about to kick their collective asses.

"Unfortunately," she continued, "I'm involved with someone at the moment—"

Rainbow Dash snorted. "Who, Jill?"

Gilda only grinned. "—so instead of fucking your legs off like I usually would, I'll have to settle for beating your ass into the pavement while my girls give your boy toy the once over."

"Hey!" yelled Scootaloo, angry at being ignored.

"Fine," Gilda casually remarked. "I guess we can ravish the groupie, too."

The patrons of the bar gathered around to view the brawl about to happen, some letting out whoops of excitement.

"Spike," Rainbow Dash rasped as her old friend held her up by her collar, "think you can take these guys in a fight?"

Spike shrunk backwards at the three hungry looking women who were advancing toward him.

"I can't fight _girls_, Rainbow Dash!" Spike gulped as they got closer. "They're squishy…"

"You shouldn't have any trouble fighting bitches, then," she snarked.

Gilda snarled as she pulled back a fist. "Watch what you say about my girls, loser—"

She flinched as she felt a sudden draft on her chest. "What the—where did my shirt go?"

Rainbow Dash laughed as she tore Gilda's muscle shirt in two. "Classic."

"You little sh—" But she was interrupted as Dash clenched her hands around the back of her head, bringing the white-haired vixen in close for a fierce headbutt.

Gilda's grip loosened momentarily, long enough for Rainbow Dash to drop down to her feet.

Dash grinned as she lashed out with a kick, knocking the taller woman back onto a table. The crowd cheered as she pounced on the now half-naked Gilda, pinning her wrists to the table.

She whipped her hair out of her face, smirking down at her once-friend.

"Glad I ran into you, Gils. It's about time we had this out."

Despite her size, Gilda struggled beneath the shorter woman. "What are you planning to do, Dash? Fuck me or punch my lights out?"

"Probably both."

To the roars of the crowd, Rainbow Dash lashed out against her old friend, while her friends stood off to the side, staring, before being dragged out of the bar.

Rarity stepped out of the shower, clad only in a towel. Humming softly to herself, she stepped softly around the room.

_I know I put my night gown somewhere around here…_

She rummaged around her satchel, flinching slightly when her hand brushed against a smooth, hard surface. She gasped when her eyes caught sight of a flawless sapphire spilling out of Spike's bag.

_Is that…_

Rarity gaped as she realized that the same gem she had given to Spike nearly seven years ago had dropped out of his bag. Her eyes began to water.

_After all this time, he still kept this?_

She leaned back, suddenly dizzy.

_And after how we kept trying to get in his pants as soon as we saw him after four years? This is too much, oh dear, this is to_o much!

She started as the door to the loft creaked open, settling down once she realized it was just Sweetie Belle.

"Are you mad at me?" she squeaked.

Rarity sighed, pushing her hair from out of her face. "No, dearest, I'm not mad at you."

_Still going to cut up your dresses, but what are you going to do?_

She patted the bed next to her, signaling for her younger sister to sit down. "It's about time for you to go to bed, Sweetie." She smiled gently as Sweetie Belle disrobed, getting underneath the covers. "Here, let me sing you your favorite lullaby."

Sweetie Belle smiled as Rarity softly sang for her, her eyelids slowly drooping with every note.

_My clothes aren't the only things made of velvet, after all._

The younger woman was asleep before the song was over.

"You're…you're a monster!" gasped one of the white-haired girls, resting against the brick wall of the bar's alley. She panted as sweat and cum streaked down her thighs. "No one should be able to have sex four times in a row like that!"

Spike barked a laugh as he took another drag from his cigarette. "You know, a couple of days ago, I would've thought the same thing." He exhaled a cloud of smoke. "Amazing what a couple of days of constant rutting will do to you, huh?"

He looked at the rolled up paper in his hand. "Now where did I get this cigarette?"

Spike shrugged, turning to address one of the other girls in the alley. "Avis, ass up."

The woman in question shuffled over, turning around slightly so that her thighs were facing the young man. Spike drew his cigarette from his mouth, snuffing it out on the muscular girl's rear.

He raised an eyebrow as Avis moaned in delight at the pain she felt.

"Scoots, give Avis a once-over, and don't be too gentle about it. Ix-nay on the Scootalube."

The purple-haired midget cheered as she jumped on the naked young woman, pinching her nipples harshly and biting her on the neck.

Spike laughed at the display, pulling his pants back up as he gazed upon his handiwork.

"You three can't fight for crap, you don't last long on your backs, and your head game could use some work. I can't believe Gilda runs with you clowns."

He felt a shiver run down his spine, but when he turned around, he only caught a shock of red hair disappearing into the bar.

He paused in his taunting. _Why do I smell brimstone?_

The girl leaning against the wall growled at his insults, brushing the hair out of her face before replying. "You may be stronger than you look, I'll give you that. But you wouldn't last a minute against Gilda, little boy." She snorted. "Hell, you couldn't even take her _boyfriend._"

Spike raised his eyebrow in incredulity. "What makes you think so?"

The girl smirked, regaining some of her former cockiness. "Because he's much better than you could ever _hope _to be. He's strong, gorgeous, _and _he's part dragon."

Spike blanched.

"As a matter of fact, he was supposed to meet us here tonight."

"Scootaloo," he said, catching the young girl's attention, "go get Rainbow Dash."


	7. The One Who Burninates You

The hairs on the back of Rainbow Dash's neck stood on end, even as she drove her fist into Gilda's stomach.

_Why do I get the feeling that this is going to end badly for me?_

She yelped as she was plucked up off of the ground, before being thrown headfirst into a wall decorated with expensive wines.

Dash forced herself not to scream at the feeling of glass digging into her skin. Instead, she focused on the sounds of the voices she heard as she struggled to climb over the counter.

"I leave you alone for _one night_, and you get your half-naked ass handed to you by some midget in skinny jeans?" A huff. "You can forget about getting laid, Gilda."

Rainbow Dash could practically sense the embarrassment and anger that Gilda felt being talked down to, and noted how the air tasted…red.

She finally managed to pull herself over the counter, frozen as she recognized a most unwelcome face from her ever-increasing rogue's gallery.

"You!" she rasped, woozy from blood loss, adrenaline and—she was reluctant to admit it—fear keeping her awake.

"Yeah," Garble snarled, smoke snaking out of his nostrils, "me."

Applejack let out a heavy sigh as Cheerilee walked back down the path into the town. She turned, facing Big Macintosh and Apple Bloom, who were both waiting lazily on the stairs.

Applejack smirked as she dug into her back pocket, pulling out a twenty and slapping it onto Apple Bloom's outstretched palm.

"Heh, I had my doubts, Apple Bloom, but you really came through. Who woulda thought getting' your family laid would be so _easy_?" She laughed, surprised at her younger sister's handling of the situation. "By golly, that there's a Batman gambit if I ever heard of one!"

Big Mac chuckled softly, reliving the moment when Applejack had dragged Apple Bloom home for "punishment." Cheerilee had been so panicked when his younger sister had seen her cuddling into him; it took all of his measurable strength to keep from coughing up a lung at her antics.

Apple Bloom blushed, basking in the praise of her sister. "Sucks, AJ, twasn't hard at all! After all, what's family for?"

"Now you should know that I enjoy the sight of girls slapping each other's shit as much as any other guy," Garble explained, "but I tend to draw the line when anything other than Garble Jr. is ramming into my girl's stomach."

The patrons of the bar hadn't taken too kindly to the red-haired jerkass who had flung one of their best and brightest into shelves of alcohol, but their attempts to intervene in the fight quite literally blew up in their faces.

_Great, _Dash thought to herself as she backed up towards the door_. Millions of guys that Gilda could've run into, and it _has _to be one of the ones that wants to spit roast me. _She gulped, cradling her unresponsive arm—apparently she had been thrown harder than she thought, seeing as how it was dislocated—as she tried to focus despite her blood loss.

Garble's head cocked as he sniffed the air in front of him. "That's weird. You smell like…coal. Coal and sweat."

She froze as she saw his muscles clench in anticipation. _Crap, that's right! He may want to snap _me_ in two, but if he gets ahold of Spike—_

The doors to the bar swung open. "Dash, I think we might be in trouble!"

_Well, fuck._

Garble's eyes widened in recognition of the green-haired boy in front of him, before snarling. "Spike!"

Spike coughed, snapping his fingers awkwardly. "…Grumble!" he finally said, wincing when the foul-tempered young man glowered at him.

"It's _Garble_, you little piss-ant! I was picking splinters out of my back for weeks because of you!"

"You got what you deserved, Garble." _Which is a _stupid_ name, by the way. _"You and your crew should leave while I'm still feeling nice." He folded his arms, frowning when he saw Rainbow Dash stalk up to him, covered in cuts.

"Don't make threats you can't back up, Spike. Just have Scootaloo run and get Twilight before this goes south."

Spike's eyes flashed a dangerous green, steam rising from his ruffled hair. "Contrary to what you believe, I'm more than capable of taking care of myself."

Rainbow Dash frowned, but backpedaled out of the bar, realizing a lost cause when she saw one.

"Fine, _tough guy_, but don't come crying to me when Gilda's boy-toy slaps your shit backwards."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," he muttered.

Garble snorted as he stalked towards the green-haired youth. "You've got a lot of nerve, shrimp. Waltzing in here like you own the place, claiming the members of my hoard, _and_ forgetting my name after the hell you put me through?" He cracked his knuckles, flexing as he exhaled smoke from his nostrils. "You're going to beg for me to kill you after I'm done here."

Having learned early on in life to tune out threats after having lived so long with Twilight, Spike picked out the only bits of the conversation that he deemed interesting.

"What do you mean I 'claimed the members of your hoard'? And how far is that stick up your ass that you had to be a misogynist on top of a red-blooded cu—"

"Enough!" Garble cut him off, steam rising from his hair.

"…nt."

"I guess I'm not surprised at your ignorance, considering that you're as much a failure as a _man _as you are a dragon." The red-headed young man grinned when he saw the simmering look on Spike's face. "Even _you_ should know that dragons get stronger depending on the size of their hoard."

Spike flashed to the disaster that was his birthday seven years ago. _Yeah, don't remind me._

Taking his silence as a cue to continue, Garble added, "What you probably didn't know is that we get even stronger when we add _people _to our hoards."

Spike raised an eyebrow. "How the hell does that work?"

Garble shrugged. "It's magic, I ain't gotta explain shit."

Rolling his eyes, Spike posed another question. "How exactly do you 'claim' someone else?"

"Anal insemination," Garble elaborated, appearing fairly _disturbing_ with his casualness. "It's an instinctual action for half-dragons to take, since we're fertile to the point of ridiculousness. And since pretty much anything that runs through our bodies is saturated with long-term aphrodisiacs, it's not that hard to do. That's part of why we choose to live in seclusion."

Spike's eyes widened as he took into account this _fairly _important information that Princess Luna had neglected to tell him.

_Okay, so first there was Bonbon, then Lyra, then Bonbon again…heh, talk about best night _ever.

Garble coughed awkwardly as he saw the green-haired young man laugh perversely and wipe drool off of his cheek.

_Then there was Twilight, then Derpy, then Rainbow Dash and Gilda's harpies._

Spike's grin slowly widened as he took into account his advantage.

"So, let's say I scored with some jackass's harem, how strong would that make me?"

Garble snorted, waving his hand distractedly. "Three's not bad, but for a wimp like you, it'd only make you about twice as strong as you were before. Without any proper training, you're barely even a thre—"

His sentence was cut by Spike's fist finding itself lodged in his face.

"Son of a bitch!" Garble curled into a ball on the ground, cradling his nose.

Spike flexed his fingers, excitement apparent on his face when he realized that he didn't even remember moving one foot in front of the other.

"Holy crap, this is just like in _Naruto_!" he exclaimed.

"Ugh, you have terrible taste in entertainment!" moaned Garble from his place on the pavement.

Rainbow Dash and Gilda gaped from the sidelines. "I couldn't even follow that," murmured the white-haired fury.

Spike laughed as he pelted Garble out the door, still marveling over his abilities. "Who would've thought that loads of sex would give you superpowers? It's almost like—" his eyes widened as he recalled a comment that BonBon once made. "Like Celestia's gifted me with the strength of ten whores!" He laughed at the irony of the situation.

"Now, what was that about making me wish I was dead?"

Twilight sighed as she listened to her friend about her 'discovery' upstairs.

"That's a relief. Earlier this morning, we were talking about the day he left, and he seemed really upset about it."

Twilight paused in her discussion with Rarity.

"Do you hear something? I could've sworn that I—"

"SHORYUKEN!"

Both women stared, wide-eyed, as a red-headed young man careened through one open window of the library, and out the other. They started as Spike dove through the exact same window, wearing only his pants and a heavily scorched shirt.

Rarity sipped her tea calmly, not batting an eye as he exited the library through a window on the opposite wall.

"I think he's taking it rather well."

"_Afternoon, Pinkie Pie!" Spike called out as he swung the door to Sugar Cube Corner open._

"_Heya, Spike!" she called back. "What can I getcha?" She was tending to the stove, pouting when the pilot light refused to work. A filled cake pan was off to the side, forgotten._

"_Actually, I was wondering if I could help you out," he commented, moving over to the stove._

"_Aww, thank you Spike!" she exclaimed, pinching his cheek with one hand and making baby faces at the irritated teenager. "Aren't you just the most considerate little thing?"_

_Spike winced as he slowly removed Pinkie's hand from his face. "Er, yeah."_

_He looked over, eyeing the pan of batter. "Here! Let me cook that for you."_

_Without waiting for a response, Spike took in a deep breath and lit the pan of batter of with a burst of flame. Pinkie Pie's eyes widened when he ceased the stream of fire._

_The cake was completely cooked, without a scorch mark or blemish to be found…_

…_not to mention that it smelled fairly enticing as well._

"Okay, forget what I said earlier."

Garble picked himself up off of the pavement, wiping a thin stream of blood from his cheek.

"I'm not just going to kill you," he said, snarling. "I'm going to bite your fingers off one by one, and then I'm going to rape you on a bed of nails and rub your wounds with _salty lemonade._"

Spike winced. "That sounds…excessively violent." He paused. "And rehearsed."

Garble shrugged, a dangerous grin on his face. "Avis is a fuh-_reak_." His grin dropped, and the hairs on the back of Spike's neck stood at attention. "But I digress."

The red-haired man let out a burst of flame with such intensity, Spike quickly had to return fire—literally—so that the library behind him wouldn't be engulfed in flames.

A bright flash of light obscured his vision, forcing him to close his eyes to avoid any lasting damage. Upon reopening them, he flinched at the sight of the murderous-looking man lunging through the fire and flames, killing intent radiating off of him like heat from a furnace.

It was a moment or two before Spike realized he had been struck to the ground, and was being pulled along the hard, cold road by his hair. He grunted in pain, clawing out in vain at his captor.

"I bet you think you're _real _clever, don't you?"

Garble had dragged him up to his feet, before slamming a flaming fist into the side of Spike's jaw.

Spike yelled in agony, so deep in pain that couldn't tell if that was his bones burning, or his skin _crunching_.

"You think that claiming women and being a smartass makes you strong? You think you're above the rest of your kind, like some sort of 'man about town' who knows how to get what he wants?"

A fierce knee to the gut, and Spike knows by the sudden cold in him that something permanent and unquestionably terrible has been done.

A cruel, malicious smirk crossed Garble's face, as if nothing else could convey the malefic intentions he had for the boy dangling in his grasp. "You think you're the only one?"

The red-haired bastard opened his mouth _wide_, wide enough for Spike to see the spark that comes before a burst of flame.

Struggling, he drew on the alarmingly low amount of magic in his own body, and—upon finding that it was too cold to be ignited—opened his mouth, shouting a flurry of sparks into Garble's mouth.

The taller man coughed and wheezed as the sudden explosion in his mouth scorched his throat, causing him to double over.

Having nothing left to keep himself running, Spike collapsed onto the cobblestone road.

"_So, is there anything else I can help you with?"_

_Pinkie Pie shook her head rapidly, grinning as she decorated the gorgeous looking cake in front of her. "Nope! That's it for today."_

_Spike rocked back and forth on his heels. "Are you _sure _there isn't something you're forgetting?" Pinkie Pie looked at him questioningly. "Something that involves you and me…?"_

_Pinkie's face was blank for a moment, before lighting up in a red-faced grin. "Spike, you _dog_!"_

_He froze immediately. "Pardon?"_

"_See you around, _stud_." She winked at him playfully, chuckling as she turned back to lovingly tending to her sexy, sexy cake. " Maybe when we're older, huh?"_

_Spike hung his head, face-palming as he realized that Pinkie Pie had completely misread his intentions. _Alright, _he thought to himself_, so Twilight, Rarity, _and _Pinkie Pie haven't remembered my potentially last day as a conscious person. Not so bad. _He walked out the door, considering the possibilities. _Then again, they may just be planning me a surprise party!

_He was so deep in his thoughts, he almost hadn't heard Pinkie Pie call out from the kitchen. _

"_Who knows, maybe you'll let me lick some batter off of you?"_

_Spike had to cover his face in embarrassment when some of the patrons in the front room chuckled at his expense._

Spike woke to the sound of beeping.

_Ugh…kill it with fire…_

He realized the irony of the statement a little late.

The grip around his wrist that he hadn't realized was there tightened.

"Spike? Are you awake?"

_That sounds like Twilight_, he noted.

"No…" he wheezed.

He winced when he felt her fingers flick him across his forehead.

"Oh, thank goodness you're all right!" cried a soft voice from beside him.

Spike realized that he didn't know how many people were in the room. Finally opting to open his eyes, his heart nearly stopped when he found eleven pairs of eyes trained on him.

_Donotpissyourselfdonotpissyo urselfdonotpissyourself_

Princess Celestia sat at the side of the bed, cradling Twilight's hand in her own.

She looked as if a great weight had been lifted from her chest.

"You gave us quite a scare last night, Spike." She stroked Twilight's hair gently, comforting her student while addressing the boy in the hospital bed. "How are you feeling?"

Spike winced when he tried to speak, feeling that his throat was cold and dry. He swallowed before replying. "I feel like there's a chunk of ice in my gut."

The alarm he felt at the weakness of his voice—he hadn't _said,_ he had _croaked_—must have been obvious, because the Princess had winced and he had heard Twilight choke back a sob.

"Your fire sac broke, dearest."

Spike's eyes widened when he realized that Princess Luna was in the room as well—scratch that, _behind_ him, apparently holding him in her lap protectively—combing through his hair with her fingers.

"During your…_altercation_," she choked, "you lost your ability to use your fire, as well as most of your strength. It will return with time, but for the moment…" she trailed off.

"We almost lost you, my young friend." Spike started again—_I swear, I'm on _this _side of a heart attack these days—_when he realized that the voice belonged to Fancy Pants.

"Not to sound ungrateful," he _croaked_, "but what are you doing here?"

"Well, when they had you moved to Canterlot, I was called in to perform your operation." He smirked good-naturedly as Spike twisted his head in confusion. "I'm a surgeon in my spare time, you see."

Spike tried to shrug. He slowly realized that his body wasn't responding.

"Why can't I—"

Luna interrupted him, saying "Your operation was a painful one, Spike. Debilitating, actually. The only areas of your body that weren't suffering from intense agony were your forehead and left arm. We had to magically paralyze most of your body so that you wouldn't be crippled in pain."

Rainbow Dash spoke up from the corner of the room. "It's my fault," she muttered. "It was a bad idea going out like that in the first place." She stared down at the cast on her arm, unwilling to meet anybody's eyes. "We should've gotten out of there as soon as Gilda's crew showed up."

Scootaloo, who was standing at her side, said nothing.

_No, it wasn't your fault. I was being stupid and stubborn. _Spike opened his mouth to say as much, before he was interrupted again.

"No, Dashie, it was _my _fault." All eyes turned to Pinkie Pie, whose hair had flattened to a depressing shade of greyish-pink.

She looked up at Spike, her tear-streaked eyes wobbling pitifully. "Twilight told us about your birthday. About why you went to Canterlot."

_Oh._

"I-if I hadn't forgotten about it, then you never would've had to go away, and you wouldn't have gotten beaten up so badly!" She stopped just short of bawling, burying her face into Applejack's shoulder. "You needed real friends," she sobbed, "and all you had was _me_."

Spike wanted nothing more than to get up and embrace the poor girl, but he realized with aggravating clarity that the severity of his injuries would not allow it.

"We really _do _feel terrible, darling." Rarity spoke up, rubbing her hands together nervously. "It's just, ever since that day, everything about us just _changed_." A pause of silence passed, as six pairs of eyes connected, all arriving at the same definition of what she meant. "Could you ever forgive us?"

The green-haired boy felt an explanation on the tip of his tongue, grasping at the back of his mind. Something he knew that would explain all the craziness that had happened between him and his closest friends.

He realized that his former crush wasn't taking his silence as a good sign.

"No, Rarity, of course I can, it's just…" _It's on the tip of my tongue!_

"All of you, I mean—" He was tripping over his words, trying to work out speaking—babbling, really—and thinking at the same time.

His head was a shambles, trying to think of something to say that would pacify them, trying to make sense of something that would pacify _him _as well.

_I swear, Garble must've punched out the part of me that can rationalize well._

His eyes widened, mouth forming a small 'o' as realization struck him.

_Garble. Claiming. Dragons. APHRODISIACS._

"_Everything about us just _changed_," _Rarity had said not a couple of seconds ago.

It clicked into place as Spike realized the colossal fuck-up that may have been entirely on him.

_Sweet bearded Celestia fuck me with a diamond cestus!_

"…what?" replied the titular ruler, a blush lining her cheeks as she tried not to imagine visually what he had just said.

The room was _dead _silent.

"Did…I say that out loud?"

Applejack stared straight into his eyes. "Eeyup."

"So what you're saying," Twilight replied for confirmation, "is that when you cooked Pinkie Pie's cake for her, you accidentally imbued it with aphrodisiacs that made us more aggressive and sexually active?"

"Pretty much," Spike confirmed.

"And this somehow never happened before when you used it on other foods, why?" she continued.

"Puberty?" he suggested, shrugging.

"And you're forgiving us for years of neglect and forgetting about your possibly last birthday as a conscious person for who-knows-how-long?" Pinkie Pie added, her hair slightly less limp than before.

_Channel the Princess_, Spike reminded himself, which wasn't so hard when she was right next to him.

"Shit happens," he said, shrugging.

Twilight gave him a look that said, _You've been hanging around Rainbow Dash too long._

He gave her back a smirk that said, _I know_.

"I don't get it," squeaked Sweetie Belle from her place on Rarity's lap. "If only you guys ate the horny cake—" Rarity slapped her on the hand, "then how come so many people wanted Spike so badly?"

Princess Luna interjected, "The dragon-blooded people are naturally attractive, young one. It's an adaptation developed to keep their race alive. Pheromones and natural fitness have a heavy hand in determining their mates."

Sweetie Belle perked up in excitement. "Oh! So dragons are kind of like those vampires from that book!"

Princess Luna narrowed her eyes, petting Spike's hair as she calculated a response that wouldn't crush the young girl's spirits. She leaned down, whispering into her young charge's ear.

"Would you mind terribly if I struck her?"

"If you do," he whispered back, "no more massages for you."

"Zounds," she cursed.

"So…everything evens out?" asked Rainbow Dash, shifting sorely from her place at the end of the bed.

"Depends." He grinned weakly. "Do you guys think you can forgive me into inadvertently turning you all into sex-crazed maniacs?"

Celestia choked on her slice of cake. "I'm sorry?! When did this happen?"

Fluttershy smiled wanly in response. "I'm sure we can put it behind us," she said.

Spike's smile reached his eyes as he turned his head to face his oldest friend. "Still friends?"

Twilight leaned in close and pecked him gently on his cheek, her age-old _What am I going to do with you _smile on her face.

"Always."


	8. Precursor

"So I'm sitting around in my room after practice, minding my own business. Spitfire's been running us tight all weekend, so I'm looking to unwind, yeah?"

Shining Armor rolled his eyes. "Soarin', for the last time, I'd appreciate it if you didn't start every conversation about you burping the worm." He raised his beer to his lips, taking a long, slow draught from it.

But the blue-haired athlete rambled on, somehow managing to keep his face straight. "No no no, see, here's where it gets weird. So I'm lying around in my hammock sucking my dick—"

The captain of the royal guard nearly choked on his drink, eyes watering. "I'm sorry, _what?_"

Soarin' rolled his eyes at the distraction. "Yeah, I'm a snickety-snake, big deal. _Anyway_, while I'm playing the skin flute, Fleetfoot decides now's an excellent time to bust my doors down and have a heart-to-heart or some crap."

Shining Armor finally recovered, wiping his mouth and pounding his chest, trying to ignore the looks the other patrons of the bar were giving him. "So what you're saying is, your teammate walked in on you giving yourself head?" He winced. "How exactly did that work out for you?"

Soarin' grinned, folding his hands and leaning forward in his seat. "Well, let me break it down for you, soul brother…"

"Ah yes, this seems to be the place." Fancy Pants murmured as he opened the door to the bar. Spike followed behind him, wary of his surroundings. "Are you sure we should be here? I don't exactly have a good reputation with bars."

The blue haired gentleman waved off his concerns. "Don't worry, I promise you that nothing will go wrong. Probably."

Spike rolled his eyes. _Thanks for the vote of confidence_. "I sure hope so. The last time I stepped into a place like this, it took me months to get better."

Fancy Pants smirked, nodding to the bartender as the two of them headed into the tavern. "We could always go visit that feminist demonstration down the road."

The young green-haired man shivered, gritting his teeth at the suggestion. "I dare you to go one day without getting me entangled in some sexual fiasco."

Fancy Pants grinned patronizingly at his young friend. "Oh, did you learn a new word during your recuperation?"

"Actually, I learned three, you deplorable cloaca."

The two's conversation gradually drifted off as they approached their table.

"And so this gumby fucker's running through the hallways screamin' his head off about how I'm gay and everything." The blue-haired Wonderbolt waved his hands erratically. "And the entire time, I'm stumbling out of my room, pulling up my pants and trying to get my dick out of my _fucking zipper_. And I'm all like 'I ain't _gay_, I just suck dick!'"

Spike coughed into the palm of his hand, trying to ignore the stares that they were attracting.

"Spike, is that you?" Shining Armor got up from his seat and clapped the young man on his shoulder. "You really shot up these last few years, huh?"

Spike chuckled nervously, barely able to look Twilight's older brother in the face. "Time flies, huh?"

"You said his name was Spike?" Soarin' turned to the green-haired young man as well. "How's Rainbow Dash doing?"

Spike's thoughts immediately shifted to the night he spent with Rainbow Dash, sweating and panting against a brick wall after their brief but intense encounter.

"Uh…"

Fancy Pants smiled as he sat down at the small table next to his friends. "That reminds me, how are your lovely young friends doing back home? It's been quite some time since we last saw each other.

Spike recalled the afternoon last spent with a certain one of his friends…

"_Fluttershy, are you here?" Spike yelled, wiping sweat off of his brow as he searched the perimeter of Fluttershy's cottage. "I got your message from one of the birds you sent. What's the emergency that you mentioned?"_

_A voice called out from the back of the small building. "Spike, over here! Quickly!"_

_The green-haired youngster rushed to help his friend, nearly tripping over himself when he found her._

_Sunbathing._

"_Oh, thank goodness you made it in time!" Fluttershy said, clasping her hands to her chest._

"_What…seems to be the problem?" Spike asked, doing his best to keep his eyes above her neckline._

"_Well," she started, "I was feeding the ducks when I saw that Count Quackula was having trouble swimming."_

"_You named your duck Count Quackula?"_

"_That usually means that he hasn't been taking his supplements," she continued, "and it turns out that we ran out of the medicine that supports his uropygial gland, so I had to apply olive oil directly to his feathers so he wouldn't drown."_

_Spike blinked. "Sounds like you took care of the problem, Fluttershy."_

_But the pink-haired beauty simply shook her head. "That wasn't the problem, though."_

"_Then what is?"_

_She gestured to a blotch of liquid on her back. "I spilled some oil on myself by _complete_ accident, and I need another pair of hands to help me get rid of it!"_

_Spike stared at her skeptically. "How did you manage to spill oil on your back without meaning to?"_

_But Fluttershy grabbed the startled boy by the shoulders, and pushed him down forcefully onto her lawn chair. "Please, just hush up and jitter my critters!"_

Post-flashback, Spike looked into Fancy Pant's expectant visage.

"_Uh…"_

Despite his obvious discomfort, Shining Armor likewise pressed his questions upon the young man.

"Twilight's told me about how you've been in Canterlot ever since your fight with that other dragon guy. Have you had a chance to visit the folks yet?"

Panic momentarily forgotten, Spike looked at the captain of the Royal Guard in confusion.

"Huh?"

Shining Armor rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "You know, the 'rents? The old buzzards who more or less helped raise you?"

In Spike's mind's eye, he recalled his last meeting with Twilight and Shining Armor's parents, but a few weeks past…

"_Mrs. Sparkle, are you sure we should be doing this?" Spike fidgeted nervously as the older woman whipped off her blouse, exposing a beautifully pale braless chest._

"_Oh Spike, you wonderful, wonderful young man." She chuckled, hooking a finger through his belt loop and dragging him down to the bed, pulling him on top of her. "Of course it's fine. You have _no _idea how much I need this."_

_The sound of a door opening reached their ears, and Spike's eyes widened as a pipe and robe hit the floor._

"_How much _WE _need this."_

Spike's eyes turned wide as dinner plates.

"UH."

The three older men stared at the flustered boy as he tripped backwards, bumping into a waitress by accident.

"Sorry!" he said hastily, at least mildly relieved to be on a completely different topic.

The waitress looked him up and down, growling. She said in a husky whisper, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, don't be."

_FUCK_

"I have to pee!" Spike yelled, far louder than he had intended to.

The restaurant watched as he stumbled into the bathroom…

…and as he exited, blushing, and stumbled into the _right _bathroom.

Spike washed his face in the bathroom sink, trying to clear his mind.

_Okay, how do I do this? So I may have ended up bedding the family and friends of three older men who're more than capable of killing me._

He gulped. _I've been through worse, at least._

He started as the door to the men's bathroom burst open, only to find himself looking up at a familiar face.

"Oh, Big Macintosh," Spike said, smiling and covering his heart. "You really startled me there."

"Ah know what you did." Came the angry reply.

Spike froze, suddenly wary of apple farmer. "W-what do you mean?"

"Ah know what you did with my sister," he snarled, muscles rippling as the robust man clenched his hands.

"Oh…_that_." Spike said. His voice reduced itself to a small, meek whisper as he backed up in fear.

"Way Ah hear it, you've been getting' around a fair deal lately. Miss Twilight, the Mayor, a couple of skanks at some bar—"

At this, Spike rose up indignantly. "Now hold on a moment, Lyra and Bon Bon are _not_—"

"Not them, the white-haired ones that watched you get your ass kicked," he corrected.

Spike considered that for a second. "Oh, them. Yeah, they were skanks."

In response, the burly apple farmer only stepped forward menacingly.

"Please, we don't have to fight," Spike begged. He still hadn't fully recovered from his encounter with Garble, and he couldn't be sure that he would stand a chance against Applejack's older, stronger brother.

"Tell me, Spike," the living statue said, ignoring his statement, "y'all ever make love to a _man _before?"

Spike's eyes shrunk to the size of pinpricks.

Then he started to cry.

"Please don't do this, I'm softer than I look!" the young man bawled, covering his backside protectively with his hands.

"_Ah know_." The farmer said, advancing and pushing Spike into a nearby stall.

"I-I'm really young, and this'll tear up my insides, and-and I'll never be able to marry—"

Big Macintosh said nothing, closing the stall door behind him. He took one massive hand and ripped the back of Spike's jeans. "So everyone knows what happened here," he clarified.

Spike sniffled, not bothering to fight anymore as he put his hands against the walls to brace himself.

_Why didn't I stay in bed today?_

He felt the arm on the back of his neck tighten, grow smaller in size. A mouth leaned in close to his ear.

_Bed of nails_, it snarled, each word hot as if a dragon had spat them out.

Spike catapulted up in bed, sweating profusely. His green hair was matted down, eyes wide and dull in color.

The door to the loft swung open, and a familiar face popped in.

"Spike? Are you okay?"

The green-haired young man panted, brushing his hair back with his fingers as he looked to the open door. "Applejack?" he asked when he managed to catch his breath. "What are you doing here?"

The farmer approached the bed, sitting down on the edge and placing her hand on his leg. "Twilight's out running some errands for the Princess, and she won't be back for a while. She wanted me to come over and check on you."

Spike blinked, adjusting the sheets as he sat up in bed. "Really? What's she doing?"

Applejack made sure not to meet his eyes. "She didn't say."

But before Spike could call her on her lie, the apple farmer spoke up again. "You sure you're alright? The way you were groaning, it sounded like you were having a hell of a nightmare."

Looking at the young blonde, and considering her relation to the subject of his torment, Spike shuddered. "I guess you could say that."

Applejack moved up the side of the bed, wrapping a firm arm around Spike's tense neck. "Spill, sugar. What's eatin' you?"

Spike stared ahead. "It's late, Applejack. I'm not exactly in the mood to have hot, angry, passionate words."

She slapped him upside his head in annoyance. "Believe it or not, Ah don't spend every waking minute Ah'm around you eager to get in your pants."

Spike looked over in mild surprise. "Really?"

Applejack rolled her eyes. "Yeah, really. Now would you tell me what's botherin' you? Ah ain't one for twenty questions."

Spike was silent for a manner of seconds, before muttering something under his breath.

"Come again?" Applejack pressed, poking her finger into his side.

Spike groaned, shifting away from the farmer, arms crossed. "I said I've been having this nightmare."

Applejack cocked her head. "'Nightmare?' You mean you've been havin' it more than once?"

Spike nodded. "Well, usually. There was that one time I melted from the inside out."

The apple farmer cringed. "Shouldn't you be gettin' looked at? All this sounds a little dark for someone your age."

"That's the thing, though." Spike said, folding his fingers. "These dreams are so vivid, I could swear they're really happening. Some nights I wake up smelling alcohol and brimstone."

"What—"

"That's what Garble smells like," he muttered, habitually clutching the patch of colored skin on his stomach where his body had warped and his fire had left. "That's what he always smells like."

"What are your dreams usually about?" Applejack asked.

Spike was hesitant in answering, not sure how she'd take his inclusion of her brother in his nightmare. "I see the family and friends of the women I've been with, some I haven't been with," he admitted. "I try to get away before they find out the truth, but someone always catches me."

"What happens then?" she pressed.

"Dark things," Spike murmured, clutching his arms around his chest. "Dark, anally things."

Applejack was silent for a while, before speaking up. "Ah ain't much for interpretin' dreams, Spike, but Ah'd have to say you've got some guilt issues goin' on that you need to address."

"I _know_," Spike groaned, rubbing his face with his hands. "I mean, on one hand, I know I'm not going out and looking for sex, but they always find me." He rushed to elaborate before Applejack could interject, "I know that I'm still responsible, but still."

Applejack mulled that over for a few seconds before saying, "And on the other hand?"

"Garble's still out there." His body involuntarily twitched at the mention of his name. "If I don't get better, he'll slaughter me the first chance he gets."

"You know he's got to be in bad shape too, sugar. There's no reason to worry yourself half to death. Besides, all of us are here for you. You really think we'd just let 'em waltz right in and kill you?"

"You didn't see him, Applejack," he insisted. "He nearly _broke _Dash, and he nearly _killed_ me."

"Yeah, so?" she argued. "Ya learned your lesson, and now you know he's out there."

Spike grumbled. "That doesn't make me feel better, though."

Applejack crossed her arms over her chest. "What will, then?"

Spike pondered his response for a moment. "Sleep with me," he said.

Applejack's shirt was already off by the time he finished his sentence. "Y'all sure? Ah'd hate to take advantage of you when you're distressed."

But he raised his hands in protest. "I meant that literally, Applejack. I want to have someone nearby, in case the nightmares come back."

Applejack grumbled, pulling her jeans back up. "Probably should've phrased that better, then."

"Sorry," he muttered. "You can keep the shirt off, thou—oh my God, you can grind _meat _on those abs."

Applejack rested her hat on the nightstand next to his bed, settling in place under the sheets. Spike lowered his head to rest on her chest as his hand wrapped around her waist. "I have to say, Applejack, you're the prettiest man I've ever had the privilege of cuddling."

The farmer ignored his smartass remark, and instead wrapped one strong arm around her friend's shoulders. "You sure you don't mind sleepin' with me? Ah'm no Rainbow Dash, but Ah'm not always so noble when it comes to keepin' my hands to myself."

"Don't worry," Spike said, without hesistation. "I trust you."

Applejack was stunned into silence.

"Dammit."


	9. The Ones Who Give You Solace

"Where do you think he's run off to?"

Applejack shrugged. "No idea. Ah woke up this mornin', and the bed was empty. No note, no nothing." She sported a frown as she nursed her black coffee.

The two of them had engaged in light conversation, lounging in Sugar Cube Corner's front dining room.

Pinkie Pie sighed at her place behind the counter. She tapped idly at the cash register, head in one hand, opening and closing the machine in boredom." That's too bad. I don't think he should be running around, what with his condition and all."

The southerner paused, raising her eyebrow. "You realize he can move around just fine? He can't use magic anymore, but Spike's all right otherwise."

Pinkie Pie snorted, wrinkling her nose. "I meant the whole 'cornered by women wherever he goes' thing."

Applejack shrugged in return. "Ah dunno. He's a red-blooded teenage boy. The novelty of that sorta thing must be real—"

The door flung open, and a haggard-looking young man wearing a hoodie bolted through the door. He slammed the door shut, darted forward, and grabbed a chair, propping it against the door.

"What in tarnation?" Applejack yelled, starting from her seat.

The young man pulled down his hood, revealing a bloodily-scarred face with verdant green hair.

"Hide me," he begged.

Two sets of eyes widened, even as Pinkie dashed over the counter and slung the formerly missing boy over her shoulder.

"Spike?!" Applejack said incredulously. "What in blazes happened to you?"

"I'll tell you when it's safe!" he called back to her as Pinkie ran up the stairs.

"Gummy, cover for me!" she yelled.

"*gurgle*"

Applejack sighed, grabbing her hat and following her friends up into the loft.

* * *

"Eat." Pinkie commanded, handing a pastry to the heaving boy.

Spike stared at the baker. "Pinkie, how the hell am I supposed to eat a double-decker cake?"

She reached a hand out, plucked a handful of chocolate and vanilla marble goodness, and forcefully pushed it into his mouth. "Shh, it'll be okay." She sucked in her breath when her fingers passed into Spike's mouth. "That's right, take it _all_ you filthy—"

"Pinkie!" Applejack nearly shouted, wrestling the other girl's arm away. "Land sakes, girl, give 'em some space!"

The other girl pouted, but complied, pulling her fingers away.

Applejack turned to Spike, who was still coughing the food down. "Now, would ya mind explainin' just how you went and got yourself all cut up?"

"Agh frg ohb huh bhg," he mumbled through the mess in his mouth.

The apple farmer rolled her eyes. "Wanna try that again? A little clearer this time?"

Spike paused, then swallowed the bulge of food. After a series of coughs, he said, "I fell on a wolf."

Applejack and Pinkie Pie stared at him incredulously. "Come again?" the farmer asked.

Spike sighed, sitting back on Pinkie Pie's bed. "I got up this morning, went to the stairs, _tripped_ down the stairs, and fell on a wolf sitting in _front_ of the stairs."

"What was he doing there in the first place? And how do you get up first thing in the morning and trip down the steps?"

Spike glared at her. "Probably the same way someone would leave their shirt and boots right in front of them."

Applejack winced. "Oh."

Spike threw his arms out in exasperation. "Why the hell do you even _have_ spurs? You don't ride anything!"

Pinkie Pie cocked her head, leaning back on hands. "What exactly was it doing there in the first place?"

The green-haired boy shrugged, crossed his legs, and fell back on the bed. "I was supposed to be meeting someone for a blind date—figured that appearances wouldn't get in the way. Turns out that a 'BBW' doesn't always mean what you think it does."

"But you're freakishly strong!" Pinkie exclaimed. "How is it that you got roughed up by one big-bad wolf?"

Spike snorted. "Have you _seen_ where we live, Pinkie? Fluttershy is literally right next door to some of God's ugliest children. Super strength doesn't count for much here."

"How does a wolf even type on a computer?"

"Really carefully?"

"Ah don't get it," Applejack muttered. "If ya gave as good as you got, then why exactly are ya hidin' out here?"

Spike stared at her. "Wait, you thought that I _won_?"

* * *

"What d'ya suppose all the ruckus out there is about?"

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo simply shrugged. The Crusaders were staring blankly out the side of their treehouse, transfixed by the yells and, to their surprise, howls emanating from the town.

"It's probably just another monster rampaging through town," Sweetie Belle muttered, resting her chin on outstretched arms.

All three Crusaders started when the door to their treehouse burst open, and a haggard-looking young man staggered through, hoodie cinched tight around his face and a tuft of green hair matted against his skin.

"Hide me." he begged.

"What the _hell_ is wrong with you?!" Apple Bloom screeched. "You bustin' in here like that nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"Who did you manage to piss off this time?" Scootaloo pondered.

"Wanna make out?" Sweetie Belle chirped. When the other three glanced at her, she simply shrugged. "Priorities."

"Look," Spike said, panting, "I can explain how I pissed off the townspeople later, but I _need_ to lay low for a while. Can you guys help me out?"

Apple Bloom crossed her arms stubbornly. "Why come here? Isn't there anyone else dumb enough to let you hole up with them?"

Spike frowned. "Well, there's not exactly a lot of options for me here, what with the mob and all."

Scootaloo started, eyes wide. "What—"

But Spike continued. "Besides, I already tried Zecora's, but that didn't end well."

_Spike dashed through the Everfree Forest, glad for the momentary silence. Few members of the mob were willing to follow him into the dreaded home of so many of nature's abominations. They were more than content, to his displeasure, to wait him out._

_The green-haired boy sighed. His dealings with the citizens were postponed for now, yes, but he had only traded one trouble for another. Newfound strength or not, the Everfree Forest was still home to countless perils._

_His only hope lay with Zecora._

_Spike sighed in relief when he laid eyes upon the familiar hut. He bent over, panting—for he hadn't rested since he started running—then knocked on the door and awaited her response._

_Sure enough, the dark-skinned alchemist answered the door in a matter of moments. A smile graced her lips as she recognized his familiar face, one that she hadn't seen in a matter of years._

_"Ah, a friendly visage graces my eyes! Tell me, what occasion warrants this surprise?" She stepped aside from the doorway to allow him into her humble dwelling._

_Spike smiled. "It's great to see you, Zecora." He frowned. "I'm sorry to ask a favor the first time I see you after all this time, but is it okay if I hang out here for a few hours? Things are pretty heated back in town."_

_The enchantress's eyes narrowed appreciatively, tracing mildly up and down his physique, concealed as it was. "But of course, you may spend as long as you need. If there are any complaints, you shall not hear them from me."_

_Spike's smile returned bigger than before. "You're a lifesaver, Zecora." He paused as something caught his eye. "What's that over there?_

_Zecora followed his gaze, 'ah'ing when she met the object of inquiry. "Ah, it is a simple mixture I made, containing hayseed and orange. More obscure ingredients are employed also, but—"_

_Zecora paused, a look of horror dawning on her face. Then, her mouth twisted into a hard, cruel line._

_"Get the fuck out of my house."_

"And that was the end of that," Spike muttered.

Apple Bloom huffed. "Ah still don't see why we should help you. You aren't exactly at the top of my 'favorite people' list, at the moment."

Spike had to resist rolling his eyes. "Cut me some slack, okay? We were literally caught with our pants down, and Applejack was on the warpath." He slumped to the floor of the treehouse, rubbing his temples.

Scootaloo stared at him indignantly, crossing her arms over her orange tank top jersey. "Are you _serious_? Apple Bloom gets some stank on the hang down, but you cut me off? I thought we were _friends_!"

"Not best friends," the boy on the floor grumbled.

Sweetie Belle looked close to tears as she looked to her red-haired friend. "You made nookie?"

The young farmer shifted awkwardly in her pale yellow flannel shirt, looking anywhere but at Sweetie Belle. "It doesn't even count, we didn't get to—"

"You _promised_!" Sweetie Belle screeched, throwing her hands out to the side.

Spike's eyes widened in alarm. "Wait, promised what?" He scrambled to his feet, quickly reevaluating his options.

Sweetie Belle sniffed, wiping her eyes with her arm. "The girls and I promised each other that we'd all have our first times together." She looked at Apple Bloom witheringly. "It was _supposed_ to be a mind-blowing orgy, but _someone_ didn't want to wait."

Spike raised an eyebrow at her statement. "Why on Earth would you want to do that? Losing your virginity is supposed to be private and sentimental."

Scootaloo snorted. "Like that stopped _you._"

Spike winced.

"And besides," Sweetie Belle continued, "they say you always remember your first times, and who they were with. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo are my best friends! Who else would I want to become a woman with?"

Spike opened his mouth to reply, but stopped. _Sure_, he thought, _I _ remember _Lyra and Bon Bon, but I didn't exactly know them either._ He rubbed his hair back with his palm, loosening his hoodie. _When's the last time I even talked to them?_ He paused.

_How long has it been...?_

He was absorbed enough in his thoughts to start when Scootaloo snapped her fingers directly in front of his face.

"Snap out of it, Princess." she said, frowning. "We're not done with you just yet."

His eyes lost their unfocused glazed, then narrowed back into a sour stare. "Well? My fate is in your hands, Crusaders," he said mockingly.

"I'm gonna be straight with you."

Spike looked up, and Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom both stopped their petty squabbles.

Scootaloo's face was serious; she had the air of someone who needed to say something, but was having trouble putting it into words.

"I appreciated our little... heart-to-heart the other night." She combed her hair back, puffing her cheeks out in exasperation. "I think you really needed to let go of some stuff, and Celestia knows its been a while since a guy has even _looked_ at me."

Scootaloo leaned back on the wall next to Spike, cracking her fingers together and tapping her sneakers—a show of habit, Spike figured.

"But all that aside," she continued, as her voice gained a flinty edge, "I think you've been looking at this the wrong way." The purple-haired girl glanced down at the boy next to her. "You _are_ a strong person, Spike, I know you are. _We_ know you are," she said, nodding to her two best friends. "But you aren't going to make people feel better just by making them _feel_ better, get me?"

Spike nodded slowly, but said nothing.

"From what I understand, Twilight's acting weird—weirder than usual, anyway, Rainbow Dash is on a guilt-trip, and Apple Bloom isn't exactly glad to see you right now."

"Ah didn't say that." the girl interjected.

"Well you didn't have to, now did you?" Scootaloo barked back.

Apple Bloom glared daggers at her friend, but remained silent.

"Getting back on topic," Scootaloo said, nestling down next to her silent friend, "and I know I'm the least qualified person to talk to you like this, but someone has to." She rested a hand on his shoulder. "Being handsome, or chivalrous, or kind is great and all, but that's nothing new for you." She smiled a half-smile at him. "Having a bomb-ass dick doesn't hurt either—"

Sweetie Belle sucked in her breath. "You _saw_ his—"

"-but I don't think just knowing how to please a woman is enough. It's not enough to just have amazing sex with whoever you want either, even if you're a good person on the inside and out. Maybe for a boy, but it's not enough for a man."

Scootaloo was staring him dead in the face. "Are you the same boy as four years ago, Spike?"

He met her stare with resolve that he was just now starting to feel. "I'm not the boy I was."

"Are you a man?"

"I am!" he said, fists clenched.

"Then don't just sit on your ass and wait for things to change for the better!" Scootaloo shot to her feet, adrenaline racing to her head and fueling her words. "Stand up and kill the bitch in yourself! Stand up and _be a man_!"

"I _will_!" he yelled, rising to his feet in a feverish fit of emotion.

Scootaloo looked up at him, beaming. "Now start with me!" she yelled, to the shock of her two friends who, until that moment, had been transfixed by her awe-inspiring speech.

"I WI—wait, what?" Spike looked at her incredulously. "You can't be serious."

"I'm entirely serious!" she said, still smiling. "I said I would be straight with you, so I am." Her tone turned slightly more serious as she stepped around the room of the treehouse. "We've known each other since we were kids, yeah?"

Spike nodded, though his face was marred by skepticism.

"We played together, we did dumb shit together," she shrugged. "We kind of grew up together, if you squint."

Apple Bloom simply rolled her eyes.

"And I wasn't just spouting crap back there, either." Scootaloo rolled on the balls of her feet, hands in her pockets. "We have to stop being kids someday; on the outside, at least." Now she was the one avoiding eye contact. "I...always thought you were handsome. Even when we were kids."

Spike's eyes widened, and he uncrossed his arms. "Really?"

Scootaloo nodded. "And I don't want to pressure you or anything: I know...everyone else so far must have been at least a _little_ pushy." She made a point of darting her eyes at Apple Bloom, who simply looked in another direction. "And I know Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle will _agree_ with me to let you lay low here for a while, regardless of what you say."

Sweetie Belle pouted, but said nothing.

His walls were dropping, they could tell, but he still hadn't agreed yet. "How is this any different from what happened with...everyone else?"

"It'd be more than a fling, for one," Apple Bloom said, finally speaking up. "We're not women, like _Twilight_," she seemed to spit. "Once we do this, there's no going back to being little girls."

_Crusading for orgasms!_ cried out Spike's inner smartass, a comment he wisely kept to himself.

"So don't feel...obligated, or anything, I guess," Scootaloo said, finally raising her amethyst eyes to meet his deep, verdant ones, "but it would mean the world to us," she swallowed, "to _me_."

Sweetie Belle remained quiet, but stared intensely at Spike, awaiting his answer.

The green-haired young man was silent for a few seconds more, then smiled weakly. "I guess...but we'll have to be quiet."

Sweetie Belle let out a long-held sigh, and started unbuttoning her blouse.

"_Finally._ We've only been waiting, like, _four months_ now."

* * *

Spike tried not to let it go to his head when the Crusaders sighed at the sight of his stomach.

Really, he did.

"Who's first?" he asked. He was barely able to get the words out of his mouth before Sweetie Belle tackled his legs, knocking him back onto his behind. When he looked up, her fingers were already reaching for his zipper.

"No, that's fine, Sweetie Belle." he said sardonically. "Just go straight for the gold. Guys don't need foreplay, after all."

"I just wanna see it!" she squealed. Spike noted that her voice still cracked, something he found mildly comforting.

"Goodness gracious, Sweetie Belle, pull yourself together!" Apple Bloom growled. Her hands pried the other girl's invasive fingers away from Spike's pants. "There's an order to these things!"

"What?" Sweetie Belle said impatiently. "Why can't we just get to the good part?"

Apple Bloom sighed, running a hand over her face. "_Because_, like Ah said, there's an order to how you do these things."

Sweetie Belle huffed. "You would know," she muttered under her breath.

"Look here," she said, using her familiar authoritative voice, "Spike's more than just a dick and some muscles, right? Mostly, anyway." She ignored the boy's glare, on principle.

"Yeah, so what?" Sweetie Belle chirped, still impatient.

"_So_," Scootaloo said, joining in, "it's an outright crime just to let someone's body go to waste." She pushed the other girl out of the way, despite her protests. "Besides, it's my turn anyway."

"But—"

"_My_ kickass speech, _my_ turn." She leaned forward eagerly, straddling Spike's lap. She groaned as his fingers traced their way around the bare skin of her hips. "Rough hands," she muttered distractedly.

"Dragon."

His lips moved to Scootaloo's neck, kissing vigorously at her collarbone. Her groaning intensified, and her grip instinctively tightened around Spike's chest. "Harder," she ordered, clutching at his hair.

Spike complied, using one hand to caress her thigh, the other to knead the modest flesh just beneath her sports bra. Slowly, gently, he bent over to lower Scootaloo onto her back, paying her body its due respects all the while. He loomed over his partner, whose arms wrapped insistently around his neck.

Without warning, Spike's mouth darted to meet hers, drawing the two d a long, deep kiss. One swift movement from Spike's hand later, and her shirt and bra passed over her hands, dropping the smaller girl onto the floor.

"Sorry," Spike murmured, closing the distance between the two. Her black shorts and sneakers her only remaining clothing, Scootaloo shivered, staring wide-eyed at her partner with terrible anticipation. Her body glistened with the beginnings of a hot sweat, and tensed under the unabashed gaze of her friend. The pale tan of her body accentuated her physique in all the usual places, Spike noticed, except for the tan lines where her bra would be.

She had the body of an athlete, that much he could tell. The makings of abs, and a distinct 'v' forming near her hips, all but concealed by her shorts. Her breasts were practically nonexistent, but that had never been much of a priority for him.

"So are we going to do it, or what?" Scootaloo said, growing impatient, despite her heavy breathing. "What _are_ you doing right now anyway?"

Spike grinned, his mischievous side once again rising to the surface. "Aggressive foreplay."

He pinned Scootaloo's arms above her head, grinding his hips into hers, their bare chests gliding across each other. Scootaloo squealed—_squealed?_—into his mouth, giddy in regard to his forwardness.

They broke apart for air, and Spike noticed that her lips had blushed red from their kissing.

Eyes lidded, he placed two of his fingers before her lips. Scootaloo hesitated for a moment, uncomprehending, before slowly taking them into her mouth. After the passing of a few moments, and after stealing her lips in another kiss—"Mmh!"—he removed them, then positioned his fingers above her shorts, snaking them through the bundle of black denim and into her—

"MMH!" Scootaloo yelled into his mouth loud enough for his teeth to rattle. As soon as his fingers hit their mark, Scootaloo's back arched, eyes shut in surprise. Her hips writhed around his hand, clenching and unclenching at random. She continued moaning helplessly, back arching on instinct and toes curling inside of her shoes.

His fingers caressed her sensitive flesh obsessively, massaging her labia and tracing the very insides of her thighs. His thumb rested just above, flicking across her clit, guided by her reactions.

Scootaloo's eyes rolled backwards, her body still in shock at being finally, _finally_ being touched for the very first time. Her free hand clawed at the floor of the treehouse while Scootaloo herself was too busy to even understand all the things being done to her.

Never one to miss an opportunity to tease a friend, Spike pressed even further into Scootaloo's mouth, and, once making sure of the fact that her eyes were closed, looked up at Sweetie Belle.

She was panting, face red with embarrassment from seeing her friend in such a state, as well as no small part of impatience. She gasped silently when Spike looked directly up at her, flinching when the _bastard_ had the nerve to wink at her.

At the pressure on his chest, Spike glanced down. Scootaloo, face red and eyes half-lidded, pushed against his heaving muscles. Her legs, wrapped around his waist, went slack.

"Take it out," she breathed.

Spike blinked. "Once I put it in—"

"It'll hurt, I know." Scootaloo interjected.

Still, he hesitated. "Scootaloo..."

"Sometime today, please!" Sweetie Belle yelled, clutching the fringes of her dress.

Spike rolled his eyes as he unzipped his jeans. "So much for the usual pomp and circumstance," he muttered.

Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo both gasped at the unveiling of his member.

Apple Bloom wasn't as impressed.

"Ah distinctly remember you tellin' Applejack that it was eleven inches." She smirked. "What, did you fall on it?"

*Whap*

Apple Bloom twitched, rubbing the stinging mark on her cheek. "What just happened?"

"Fun fact," Spike said, ignoring Scootaloo's dinner plate-sized eyes. "Transmogrification is a form of magic."

Apple Bloom stared at him, bewildered. "But you're a cripple!"

Spike shrugged. "Dragon magic, yeah. But I picked up a few cantrips here and there."

"So you slapped me with your _penis_?" she said, incredulously.

"But eleven is a bit...unwieldy," he said, grimacing. "Depending on the person, I can change my size. And seeing as how I actually _like_ Scootaloo and don't want to break her in half..." he let the statement hang in the air.

"How the hell is _that_ fair?" Sweetie Belle barked. "It took me years to lift a stupid pencil with my _mind_!"

Spike shrugged. "I'm still a beginner, but dragons are usually more powerful than humans. I guess you could say that body alterations come to us easier than others," he said, casting his memory back to one of his more terrifying birthdays. "Besides, it's too draining to be used practically. Can I get a glass of water?"

Scootaloo did little to hide her boredom. "So, are we fucking, or what? 'Cause we have things to do today, believe it or not."

Spike reached for her shorts, yanked them below her ankles, and tossed them over his head. Scootaloo started to kick off her shoes, but Spike stopped her. "Keep them on."

Slowly, he lowered himself to align with her slit, bracing himself against the floor with one arm. He twitched when he found her opening, but managed to keep himself from plunging into her right away. A slight push forward with his hips was all it took to slip his head inside of her.

Slowly...

_Slowly..._

Scootaloo started when his dick finally came to a stop, halted by the thin wall of flesh. In an uncharacteristic show of assertiveness, she thrust her hips upward before she had time to reconsider. Her legs constricted around Spike's waist, impaling her even deeper on his member.

Spike shuddered, giving himself time to adjust to the tightness of his friend. Considering the fact that Scootaloo was the smallest of any woman he'd been with, and a virgin as well, he figured that he shouldn't have been surprised. Even so...

"Why...aren't you...moving?" Scootaloo managed to say between gasps of air. Her normally stiff purple hair clung matted to her forehead, and her muscles spasmed irregularly at the unfamiliar intruder resting at her loins.

Spike gritted his teeth, before pulling out of her as carefully as he could, much to his partner's dismay. "Get on top of me," he said before she protest. "So I don't hurt you," he clarified.

Swiftly, she got out from under him, just as Spike turned to rest on his back. He heard a rustling of cloth, and when Scootaloo came back into his vision, she came wearing his hoodie. The dark cloth went to her narrow hips, covering her like a robe, save for a lone trace of skin that extended to her burgeoning womanhood. The sight of his friend in his clothes inspired a familiar bout of possessiveness in Spike.

It must have shown on his face. Scootaloo smirked as she knelt to straddle his waist. "That's better." Her hands moved to grasp at his shoulders, and she shuddered as she felt his strong grasp on her bare hips. His member slipped inside of her again, this time with less hesitation. Scootaloo groaned, but waited for the movement to stop.

Only when he had bottomed out, head pressed messily against her cervix did Scootaloo start to move. Her hips lifted, reluctantly emptying itself out, before swallowing up her partner's manhood again. Despite the initial sharp pains that accompanied her penetration, Scootaloo continued to work her hips and down, relishing the feeling of being stretched by Spike. A powerful heat moved in her womb, and before long, a horribly lewd _thwap_ accompanied their movements, followed by soft grunts on Scootaloo's part.

Gradually, their pace increased until the purple-haired girl was falling onto Spike's member with speed sufficient enough to wound small children. Her moans grew with the frequency of their thrusts, aided by the unrelenting grasp of her ass by her partner's sinfully coarse hands. She gasped endlessly, panting out her name whenever she could remember to speak. Spike's intense but steady bucking into her left her lean ass red from the constant attention. With each joining of their hips, it became harder to separate; the ferocity with which she gripped him was almost painful, to Spike's delight.

Scootaloo was nigh-on yelling now, eking out curses as her orgasm slowly began to build in the bottom of her stomach. The colossal feeling welled inside of her like a wave, slackening her movements with its rapidly rising pressure, until Spike was the sole one moving. He felt the familiar clenching of his balls, along with the heat gathering in the center of his body, but he banished it to the back of his mind, determined to put it off for as long as possible.

The young athlete on top of him was close, he could tell; her small, lithe body was locking up, and all she was able to do was sigh into Spike's ear, arms clenched on top of his chest and legs pinching his waist like a vice.

At long last, her orgasm hit, slamming into her loins and setting her body on fire. Scootaloo's small frame convulsed on top of Spike as her lips clenched almost frantically at his member. It took all of his determination and a fair bit of his stubbornness to not finish inside of her; he still had two Crusaders to go, and he had no intention of stopping now.

The heat in Scootaloo persisted for a few long moments, curling in her toes and throbbing in her womanhood, for moments more. Eventually, the fire left her, and she collapsed on top of Spike in a tangle of sweaty limbs. A natural post-intercourse glow settled about her as she managed to slide off to the side of her partner, breathing heavily to catch her breathe.

An indulgent grin was on her face as her chest heaved. "So...that's what that feels like..." she said. "I think I can trade walking every now and then for one of those."

Spike laughed, barely sweating compared to his friend, but said nothing.

Scootaloo's breathing settled, and after a while, she rolled over, draping her bare leg over his waste. "You didn't finish."

The green-haired young man shook his head. "No, I didn't. I think that right now, it's better to build up so that I can keep—"

"I want one of those!" Sweetie Belle yelled, plomping down on Spike's chest and _smooshing_ Scootaloo's face away.

"Give me a few—" Spike said, before being interrupted with an energetic face positioned directly in front of his.

"ROUND TWO ROUND TWO ROUND TWO!" she yelled, ripping off her blouse to reveal a white satin camisole.

Spike's eyes bulged, before he settled with a sigh. "Round two..."

She cheered.


End file.
